DISCOVERING THE O.U.

And I've got set to go!

2012-02-18T02:57:00.002Z

Well, I wouldn't really say ready to go as yet, but I am making slow, but steady, progress with my TMA - albeit in daily attempts at working for roughly 30 minutes at a time - when I'm able to!

At the moment, I've got a bit of a hotchpotch of around 850 words written, The intro, which I'll probably have to alter as I go along, the very beginnings of analysis of Text 1, and a goodly amount of Text 2 analysis, all of which I'll probably chop and change about, each time I work on them.

That's the problem with having too many choices of theorists thrown at you! :(

We're coming up to the mark . . .

2012-02-13T03:22:00.001Z

. . . and I'm so far behind, I'll be lucky to hear the starter's gun :(

I've spent this last week fighting off cluster migraines, and dead to the world in between. I'm not in a nice place at the moment, and I've now got 2.5 weeks behind in my course work :(

As I've got a TMA due on the 16th, at noon, as you may imagine, I'm just not going to make it, so I've emailed my tutor to ask for a 2 week extension - something I didn't want to do, as our next TMA, due on 5th April, is a double TMA, requiring 3,500 words!

I'm managing around 30-40 minutes a day on my OU work at the moment, and most of that is taken up with re-reading what I've already done before as, the minute as I fall asleep again, everything I've read or done goes straight out of my head, once more :(

I've been on the point of chucking it all in so often over the last few weeks, and I feel as if I were on a roundabout that's spinning so fast, I'm having to hold on for grim death, or just go flying up into oblivion. I absolutely loathe the fact that this is my final course, and that I'm hating every second of it!

I guess that's my own fault, really, as I should have bailed out as soon as my health started to nose-dive - but, I guess, the fact that I can't let up on myself, is one of the reason's that my health has got so bad in the first place!

If there's one thing I've discovered recently, it's that those with M.E./CFS aren't, as the press like to portray them, no-hopers, or lazy bums, but they are people who drive themselves the hardest. I know that half of my health problems were brought on because I kept pushing myself when I should have been resting, but it has been the hardest lesson of all for me to have to give up the driving seat, and go sit in the back and nap a while :~/

And in the meantime, my poor hubby has had to take up the slack (I'm really mixing my metaphors here, aren't I? But I just don't care!), and I'm having to face up to the fact that I just can't do it all on my own any more :(

I guess I'll have to go back to a time when I could cheerfully be the tortoise, instead of always trying to be the hare. Maybe that way, I might come in slowly, but I will succeed in getting there in the end!

Passing on an important message about Work Capability Assessments

2012-02-09T02:14:00.000Z

I don't normally post this sort of thing on my blog, but I felt the information is very important to so many people going through assessments with Atos at the moment, and so it should be spread among as many people as we can get to. The message was sent to me by email from DPAC, so I hope anyone reading this will pass the message on:

passing on an important message about Work Capability Assessments

Posted: 07 Feb 2012 11:29 AM PST

6th Feb 2012

Subject – Recording your Atos WCA

Hi,

For quite a while now, I have been campaigning on the very important issue of recording one's Atos WCA (Work Capability Assessment), through repeated FOI Requests, dozens of letters to Ministers and MPs. I feel something has been achieved.

A specific reply to FOI Request ,from the DWP, has now confirmed that claimants can now have their WCA assessment recorded, if they request it. This has also been confirmed by Chris Grayling, during a debate in the Westminster Hall, on the 1st Feb, 2012. To my way of thinking, this is a victory for all those undergoing the Atos assessment process.

If you look at the FOI Request you will see the answer the DWP give – http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/revised_wca_handbook_revised_edi#incoming-246487

I understand that many of you will already know that Atos/DWP carried out a pilot study into the viability of Audio recording of assessment’s last year? This process, I believe, was a farce from start to finish. How can a pilot study be regarded as a true study when only 230 people took part? Only 10 Atos HCPs agreed to participate also.

This, to me, shows what we have always known, one: the HCPs don’t wish to have assessments recorded and, secondly, the DWP are also not keen. Chris Grayling said as much in the debate last week. As far as I could glimmer from what he was saying, it sounds like the decision NOT to roll out the Audio recording of WCA assessments nationwide has already been decided; claimant’s will have to REQUEST their assessments be recorded.

I have been in touch with Tom Greatrex MP, and he is going to put down some written questions on this subject to further clarify some questions that need to be answered.

Some people have already asked me questions like, “When will we get a copy of the assessment?” “In what form will we get the copy in, CD, DVD, Cassette?” “What about people who have home visits, how will their assessment be recorded?” These, and other questions, need answering - plus, one other important issue surrounding this I think is imperative:

How are people meant to know they can have their assessments recorded unless they are given this information?

I have suggested to Tom Greatrex, MP, that this information is put on DWP websites, and all relevant materials, “Forms, leaflets, JobCentrePlus”, this information needs to get out.

I would ask all those who have websites, blogs, groups etc., to publicise this information. Everyone should now request that their assessment be recorded, take a copy of the FOI Request, and put it in with your ESA5O form, and request your assessment be recorded. Give a copy to the JobCentrePlus office also, and keep a copy for yourself, for when you go to the assessment. I’m sure there will be problems but I think this will help us all a tremendous amount.

I will keep you all updated when I get some new information.

Paul Smith (Atos Victims Group)

VICTIMS OF ATOS CORRUPTION

Surprises still happen . .

2012-02-02T08:22:00.000Z

. . . even with a course that I haven't enjoyed one bit!

I didn't think that there was any redeeming feature of this course for me. We're just over half-way through now, and I can't think of any time during it, that I could truthfully say I was enjoying the learning experience but, for once, something positive has come out of it :)

As part of the course, we had to deal with a chapter that was all about the creativity used by prisoners, in their effort to communicate with other inmates. Part of this, dwelt on the prisoners who are on death row, and how their only real outlet for creativity was in either the artwork they created, or through letter writing through a pen-pal system created just for those on death row. This was started by a group of people who call themselves Lifeline and via co-ordinators who set each pen-pal coupling up.

The whole idea of writing to someone on death row intrigued me a little as, through my various disabilities, I have become almost as incarcerated as they are. True, I don't have the death sentence hanging over me that they do and, obviously, I didn't do anything to warrant my being in this position in the first place but, because I have always loved letter writing, I decided to sign up for it.

Much to my surprise, I am enjoying the process of getting to know a complete stranger, through the medium of writing, and the first letter I have received from my new pen-pal was so filled with a sense of humanity and humour, that even my hubby has become involved in our writing partnership.

I think what saddened me the most, with what I have learned so far, is the fact that there are around 200 inmates of death row waiting desperately for someone to reach out to them, and become a much-needed pen-pal. For many of the inmates, a letter is the only contact they have with the outside world, especially if family relations have broken down, and it has got to the point where the co-ordinators are having to ask those who are long-term pen-pals, if they could take on another pen-pal, as so many inmates are desperate for that human contact.

I hope, and I pray, that there are people out there who can look beyond what the inmates have done in the past, and have the ability to help build up a relationship based on the written word, so that these men and women, who are all living with a death sentence, can find some peace, and even joy, in their lives.

As I told my new pen-pal, whatever he has done in the past is between him and God. I figure that, if Jesus could forgive the murderer crucified beside him, then surely we, imperfect as we are, can find it in our hearts to go beyond what was done, to find the humanity that lives inside us all.

I've been saying this every time . . .

2012-01-23T04:08:00.001Z

. . . but I can't believe the mark I've just received for my TMA!

When I came online earlier, I hadn't even thought about the last TMA. I had gone on to the OU site to look something up, and just casually glanced over the page that shows my scores - and there it was - 76%!!

I have to admit that my jaw dropped, and I didn't realise how I must have looked, until hubby came into the room, and asked me what was wrong. When I told him my score, he said: "See, I told you not to worry, Kate, you're so much brighter than you think you are!" (Oh, I so wish that were true!)

I decided that I'd go to the TMA site, to download my marked TMA, and the summary that my tutor writes to let me know where I've gone wrong, or right, in my writing. As usual, there were absolutely reams of advice, and so many things she had wanted to see within my essay - which definitely brought me down to earth with a bump!

I have to admit, after 6 year's worth of writing TMA's and EMA's, it would have been so very nice to get one that gave a lot more word count than we ever do get - mind you, I expect that, if we did have it, I'd just waffle a bit more, or add another so-called unnecessary quote that'd take it over the count again {grin}

And that's another thing that drives me nuts!

If I don't use many quotes, then I get criticised about it, and have done in past modules but, if I do use what I think is enough to get my point across, then I'm also criticised as using too many of them - I guess this is just another of those 'no win' situations so many of us students find ourselves in {wry grin}

But, now this TMA is in the bag, so-to-speak, I shall draw a thick and heavy curtain around it, turn my back, and try to get on with this second half of the course - I hope!

Oops . . . !

2012-01-22T06:57:00.000Z

Well, I'm now almost a week behind with the course, yet again :(

Between illness, and falling asleep within minutes of opening the books, I've only managed to do 6 of the 16 activities for last week, and this week there will be just as many to do.

I'm not sure how I'm going to catch up, especially as this second part of the course seems to be as dense and convoluted as the first has been.

I'm also still waiting for the results of my last TMA, which isn't helping any :/

Ah well, I guess I'd better get back to the books - and will probably enjoy yet another sleep while I'm at it!

And so it's off!

2012-01-13T05:59:00.003Z

As I pressed the button that would send my TMA winging through the aether towards it's final destination - in my tutor's computer - I breathed a huge sigh of relief for it going at last.

I'd had to ask for some extra time to complete the thing and, frankly, don't hold out much hope of a really good result once it's marked - but I guess the point is, that I did actually finish it, and send it off, which was something I had grave doubts about doing over the last few days!

The one good thing about it all, though, is that I realised as I pressed the 'send' button, that this meant we were actually half-way through the course at last! Yay!

I do actually find it sad that I'm feeling this way about a course, though as, although my previous courses were hard, I was still enjoying them very much. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about this one :(

I can't really even put my finger on what it is that's put me off of this course so much - apart, that is, from the fact that all the theorists in it seem to have a terrible urge to make life as complicated as possible - to the point where we all seem to be digging in the dark without a torch to hand. Or they just contradict both themselves, and each other, to the point that there just is no point anymore!

As you can read, I'm really not enjoying this course at all!

Trouble is, I'm just too donkey-stubborn to give up on it, and let it beat me - not likely!

Well, I've started . . . .

2012-01-08T08:09:00.000Z

. . . so I guess I'll just have to try and finish!

It's been a difficult week this week. With so much time spent sleeping, because of the Lupus and CFS, I've barely spent any time studying my course activities.

I have managed to sort-of keep up to date, but there's an awful lot of re-reading to be done, in order to get - and hopefully retain - the information I need to complete TMA 03.

I admit that a blank Word document scares the life out of me so, when I actually woke up, and kept awake long enough to get my head into study gear, I decided that I'd just write whatever came into my head, so at least there wouldn't be all this blankness facing me. What surprised me, was that I had retained a bit more information than I'd thought at first, and by writing in a stream-of-conscience type of way, some of the 600-odd words I put down actually made some sense!

This means that, although I'm going to still have a huge effort ahead of me, when my brain-fog clears up sufficiently enough for me to hit the books again, at least I'll know I've made a fair start on it already.

I'm not sure whether its getting a bit easier, or that I have retained more than I thought, but I actually have some hope of completing a semi-decent essay by the end of it and, although I don't think I'll make the 12th January Noon deadline, I'm hoping to not be too far away from it by the time I've finished it all.

I guess, as usual, it's a wait-and-see deal again!

The New Year has arrived . . .

2012-01-03T02:56:00.002Z

. . . and with it, a new TMA!

I have to admit to being, once again, behind with my OU work, which is a nuisance, as I've got yet another TMA due, on the 12th of this month, and all I've got so far is just over 200 words of introduction, with probably half of them due to end up in the recycle bin.

Yet again, we're being asked to regurgitate the same sort of things we did for the last 2 TMA's, and I don't think there's a forum that has to do with this course, where there's not a whole bunch of students complaining about it.

This course is very like Marmite, I think; you either love it, or you hate it, and there doesn't seem to be a middle ground between them.

But, like the good little student I am, I'll grit my teeth, and do my best to write at least a half-decent essay once again, although it's getting more and more difficult to find something I've not already used. But I will do my best :/

In the meantime, I'm still fighting the extreme tiredness brought on with the CFS, and am trying to stay awake long enough to look through my course books for something half-decent to use for the TMA.

Whatever the new year brings me, I do hope it brings everyone I know a fresher start, and better health, than the last one!

The results are in . . .

2011-12-25T02:16:00.001Z

. . . and I got a quite healthy 70% for my TMA 02.

More than I thought I would get, truth to tell, and probably more than I deserve, given that so much of what I am reading isn't sticking :(

In all truth, I was on the point of contacting the OU and giving up this course, especially with my health being at an all-time low right now. I have just been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, as well as Lupus, so I'm not a very happy bunny, to put it mildly. In fact, I've slept so much over this last week, that this is the first opportunity I've had to actually write in my blog, especially as my results came in a week ago.

I wrote to my tutor, setting out my problems, but she seems to think that I've actually got a better grasp of the course than I think I have, and she is encouraging me to keep on trying, as she says things will be a little easier, the further along I go in the course.

I'm not sure I believe her, to be honest with you, but I'm giving myself a couple of weeks study free, so that I can try to recover a little health-wise, without the stress of the course making things worse for me. But I know that I really do need to keep on studying, as TMA 03 is due to be posted by noon on 12th January, and I'm already a week behind in my course work again.

I guess, all I can do is try each day to do a little bit, working on the next TMA as I go along, hoping, and praying, that I get enough right to keep passing each TMA, until I either recover enough to catch up, or, please God, find the course easier to absorb, as my tutor tells me I will.

I'm finding the idea of this being my last course with the OU rather more pleasing than I have ever done in the past but, rather than looking forward to a completely study-free future, have decided that I'm going to concentrate on my story writing in the future, with the research needed, for this to be a success.

No matter what happens, though, I know I will always be grateful to the OU, for teaching me how to do proper research, and then to be able to write a decent story from the results of my research, and I'm hoping this will hold me in good stead when I make the attempt in the future :)

New Statesman - Blaming the victim

2011-12-17T20:43:00.000Z

New Statesman - Blaming the victim

They say that patience is a virtue . . .

2011-12-16T06:39:00.001Z

. . . but I'm not sure whether I've learned enough of it as yet!

My tutor started to mark our TMA's last weekend, but I still haven't got a result as yet, and so I'm spending every minute I can spare, going on to my OU course site, and staring hopefully at the results page - only to be faced with a blank once again.

I really should have got used to the wait by now, especially after 6 years of studying with the OU, but I'm afraid I haven't, as yet, and we're getting perilously close to the weekend again, with the chance that I might have even more time to wait :/

But I am being good - sort-of, and doing my best to continue on with the activities I need to complete, especially as yet another TMA will soon be looming.

I actually had a look at TMA 03 yesterday - something normally unheard of for me, as I prefer to come at it fresh when it's time to start work on it. Imagine how I felt, when I read the statement I'll be working on, only to see that there's barely any difference between it and the last TMA!

I really don't know what the course leaders are playing at, but it feels as though we're just going round and round in circles with this one. There just doesn't seem to be any progression between each TMA. Usually, when I do a course, each TMA will show a significant step along the journey I embarked on at the beginning, and each TMA will show me yet another aspect of the course, and what I'm supposed to be learning from it - but this one? Nope!

I'm going to keep on with it, purely because I'm not a quitter, but I'm just hoping and praying that the second half of the course shows some difference, otherwise I'm going to be an extremely miffed woman indeed :(

TMA02 is off!

2011-12-10T06:59:00.001Z

With lots of hair-pulling, and angst, I finally managed to get within the word count allowed for this TMA.

I can't, with any honesty, say that it's my best effort to date, as I've been fighting migraines over the last few weeks, and have spent more time than I'd like sleeping the effects away, but I managed to cobble something together that, I hope, is enough to afford me at least a pass.

To be honest with you, I've given up worrying about how little I'm absorbing with this course. I just want to get well enough to at least retain some of the info I'm reading for a change!

On that point, I have an appointment with my Rheumatologist on the 23rd of the month, so I'm hoping that he'll have some idea why my health has got so bad. I'm hoping that the positive anti-nuclear factor they've found in my blood, is just a glitch than can be easily fixed, and that this is the reason for the real down-swing in my health. I'm just praying for an easy fix, I guess, as everything else wrong with me is incurable to date.

It would be so very nice to have something that's curable for a change!

And, in the meantime, I guess I should try and catch up with all my activities, so I'm not so behind for TMA03, which is due on 12th January. It's as well I don't do Christmas, I guess! :)

It's definitely becoming a bit of the Tortoise and Hare scenario here :/

2011-12-02T03:48:00.001Z

I have to confess that I put all my books away for a few days - firstly, to recover from yet another cluster migraine, but also more in the hope that I could look at them with fresh eyes when I got back to them again but, alas, it didn't work, and I'm still creeping along, well behind so many of my fellow travellers in this particular course :(

I was fairly good today, and have caught up on my Study Guide activities, and most of my Course Text activities, but I'm still no closer to writing my TMA, I'm ashamed to say. Procrastination is becoming a bit of a habit for me where this is concerned, but I'm going to have to get back on track, and soon, or I'll never read enough to complete this next TMA.

This course book that Carter wrote is becoming a bit of a weight on my conscience as, with each day that it remains closed, I'm feeling a terrible guilt at not trying harder to understand what he's trying to say to me - but I think I need to be the Minotaur to follow all the complex twists and crazy routes in this maze of a book!

While I was talking to my tutor at the Elluminate tutorial, she commented on the fact that I kept referring to my course work as a journey. I hadn't realised that I was doing this but, on thinking about it, I guess I do look at it that way.

It has been a long journey for me, this learning lark, and it's one I stepped out on with much trepidation, six years ago. There have been times when my road was direct and smooth, with nothing to disturb me, so that I had time to look out at the pretty scenery, and smell the scent of success coming towards me. But there have also been times when the road became steep and curved, where I had to slow down or lose my way - but this is the first time I've really felt as if I were lost, and without a signpost in sight.

I guess it's time for me to stop for a minute, get out the road maps, and plan a route that will guide me back to the path I was on as, being so near the end of my journey, it is so very frustrating to have got so lost!

And still I battle on . . . . .

2011-11-25T08:08:00.001Z

I'm ashamed to admit that I'm still not much further along with Carter's book.

But I had a great tutorial, online, a few days ago, with something called Elluminate, which allowed me the choice of talking directly to my tutor, via the internet, or typing in what I wanted to say. As my typing is appallingly slow without the help of my Dragon software, I was glad to be able to talk directly with my tutor. Unfortunately, although she took us through what is needed to make our next TMA successful, I find myself even more confused now, especially over the choices I need to make over the various, and numerous, aspects of creativity in everyday talk.

I have at least found the narrative that is needed to make a transcription, at last! I came across a radio pod-cast that had been sent out live on the 15th of this month - an interview between one of my favourite authors, Terry Pratchett, and the radio broadcaster, Simon Mayo and, although Simon Mayo was asking pre-prepared questions of Terry, the responses given were totally ad hoc, which meant that I was able to use it.

It took me around 5 hours to transcribe the 14.35 minutes of talk, which I don't think was too bad, especially considering this course is the first time I've had a go at such things, and I've even sort-of made a start on my TMA - well, I've at least set out on the page what needs to be done, and have set out the Appendix with the context of the radio pod-cast, the transcription itself, and the transcription conventions I've used to accentuate and bring alive the words I've recorded. I've even made a start at the introduction paragraph, although I know that it needs a huge amount of work on it still, to make it acceptable for the essay.

The problem is, I need to get on with reading the rest of the Carter book to be able to continue with it and, frankly, I'm dreading it! In between battling awful cluster migraines this last week, I've made the attempt to read it countless times and, each time I try, it brings back a migraine - not a great incentive to keep on, believe me!

I think what I'll have to do, migraines permitting, is try to get on with the study guide, and the course book, activities, and hope there's enough in them for me to continue writing the TMA :(

In all my years with the Open University, this has come the closest for me to be considering quitting the course. What should have been a happy and productive ending to my O.U. life is, through further ill health, and a labyrinthine and tortuous course book, becoming more like a nightmare for me, and I really don't know if my health is up to continuing on with something that is frankly quite stressful for me now, instead of the enjoyable experience I'd hoped for.

I guess we shall see how I get on over the next week or so . . . . .

I had to make a cry for help to my tutor . . .

2011-11-17T16:05:00.001Z

. . .and I didn't enjoy having to do so :(

I sent an email off to my tutor last night, as I'm so bogged down in Carter's book, that I don't feel I can continue with the course.

My tutor was very quick to respond to my email, and sent me a lovely response this morning, setting out ways I could work on with the course that would, hopefully, get me back on track again.

To be honest with you, I don't hold out any hope that I'll be able to achieve this, but I've never been a quitter, unless seriously forced to be, and so I'll take up my tutor's suggestions, and see where they take me.

It's at times like these that I feel my lack of good health most keenly, and deeply regret all those wasted chances to better myself while I was fit and healthy. But I guess regrets are futile now, so I'll just have to take a grip of myself, and battle on as best I can . . . . . . . .

It's like wading through a bath of treacle . . .

2011-11-15T03:43:00.001Z

In all the years that I have been reading fluently, I have never come across a book that could actually put me physically to sleep - until now :(

For the last week, I've been desperately trying to read Carter's Language and Creativity: the art of common talk, and getting absolutely nowhere!

It has actually taken me this last week just to read the Acknowledgements and Introduction to the book, and I've only just managed to reach Chapter 1 at last - over a week later. The trouble is, there are 6 chapters to go through, and I need to do this before the weekend, or it will impinge on my writing time for the many activities we're supposed to complete each week :(

This is either going to be the worst week of my life, or I'm going to end up behind again :(

Unfortunately, I can't blame the book entirely for my falling asleep within minutes of picking it up, as I'm permanently fighting sleep anyway, even without having to cope with Carter's labyrinthine sentence structures!

All I can hope for, is that the book either gets a lot more interesting for me to read, or that I get used to Carter's way of writing, and quickly! Either choice is highly unlikely for me, I suspect, but I guess I'm going to have to keep on wading through treacle until I get to the end - Oh, I look forward to that!

Talk about amazed. . . . . .

2011-11-06T05:04:00.001Z

I couldn't believe it when I received the notification that my TMA had been marked and returned - I got a whopping 74%!

I had to check it twice, in case I'd been sent somebody else's results by mistake but, no - it was actually true! :)

I have to admit that there was so much room for improvement, and I'd made some very silly mistakes, such as messing up the Harvard referencing, but, overall, I'm well pleased with my first TMA result. {big grin}.

Altogether, I think that I'm beginning to get to grips a little with the course - at least, it doesn't seem to be quite as bewildering to read through now, but the sheer amount of reading we're expected to get through over the next few weeks is daunting - even for me, the perpetual bookworm!

We have a double chapter to go through in both the study guide and course books, which means double the activities, plus we're also expected to read through Ronald Carter's Language and Creativity: the art of common talk book - something I'm not looking forward to, as I've read so many complaints about it by fellow students, one of them being that it sends them to sleep - the very last thing I need at this moment!

But, I'm determined to get through it all, and now have TMA 02 looming on the horizon (8th December), where I'll be expected to choose some of my own data to analyse, which means finding someone, or some people, to tape while talking, transcribe that talk, and then analyse it to discuss why "Creativity is a normal feature of everyday conversation". I'll need to decide just how I'm going to analyse anything I've chosen, choose the analysis tools most suitable for the job, and explain why I've chosen these tools, and what they bring to the analysis so, no pressure then? {wry grin}

Don't talk to me about Carter! . . . .

2011-11-01T19:45:00.002Z

I haven't been driven as crazy as this by a critic since I joined the O.U., even right at the beginning when I did my first 60-pointer, and got introduced to the mysteries and madnesses of the literature critics!

To be fair to Carter, when he's not tying us all in knots with his confusing efforts to see every side of the argument, he's an interesting read, although where the humour is in his 'mobiles' example, I still haven't a clue!

But, thankfully, I've actually managed to catch up with myself at last, albeit through dint of working on my course whenever I was awake enough to do so, no matter what time of day or night! I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep this up, but I'm going to give it a go anyway :)

I have to admit though, that I don't feel as confused now as I was a week or so ago, so I'm either absorbing more info than I thought, or I'm just kidding myself! I'll know better when I get to see the results of my first TMA - and I just hope that I see it soon, as I'm driving myself crazy checking up every few hours or so, to see if the results are in! Lol

I don't think I'll have a really good result, mind, but if I just get a pass I'll be happy - well, happier anyway!

And while I wait, I guess I should be getting on with the multitudes of activities we've got to do each week {gulp}.

Just for laughs . . .

2011-10-24T02:53:00.000+01:00

I'm having great problems concentrating on my TMA, which is due in at noon on Thursday. I've managed one whole paragraph, and have put in questions to ask myself, that are supposed to release the information I've read at least 3 times but which, apparently, has got lost between my eyes and my brain!

I have got to the panicky stage, so went on FB to distract myself, and the first thing I read was the instructions below.

As hubby and I have just had a very similar experience, I found myself laughing until I cried, so thought I'd share the experience {grin}

How to give a cat a pill

1. Pick cat up, and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position left forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth, and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from the floor, and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour half-liter of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for vet to make a house call.

2 1/2 weeks in . . .

2011-10-18T00:15:00.001+01:00

and I really don't know what's hit me!

I have to admit that I'm struggling with this course already, as there are so many new concepts, and a huge amount of terminology, to learn, and remember!

It's coming to me painfully slowly at the moment, as the weather has got wet and cold, which always affects my health adversely, and so I'm having to cope with a body that wants to sleep all the time and, every time I awaken from yet another unplanned nap, it is to pain - and the certain fact that I've forgotten everything I was reading when I fell asleep, yet again! Grrrr

But I'm not giving up hope!

Provided the O.U., can make some allowances for my tardiness, I'm going to keep plowing on, in the hopes that I can at least absorb enough to write my first Tutor-Marked Assignment, due in by midday on the 27th October!

I've just had to look it up, even to know what the question is, as I've forgotten, even though I read through it yesterday :(

But, in the words of Gloria Gaynor: 'I will survive!' Lol

I start the new module today {gulp!}

2011-10-01T03:30:00.000+01:00

. . . and I'm not sure whether I'm quite ready for it yet :/

I've just spent the last 2 days looking through the course website, downloading and printing out various bits and pieces I'll need, and getting desktop folders ready for all the activities I'll be doing as we go along in the course.

I think it's going to be quite full-on for this next month or so - until I get used to all the new terminology, at least - and also until I can work out the way I need to do the activities, although I believe it's a case of using the study guide first, and following instructions from that :/

I've discovered that there are activities to do both in the course/ module books, and in the study guide - 16 altogether just for the first week!

I just hope my health allows me to stay awake long enough to do them all!

I've got my tutor, at last . . .

2011-09-25T21:19:00.000+01:00

. . . although, I was saddened to discover that she's based in Cardiff, half a country away from myself :(

Mind you, all this actually means, is that I won't be going to the first tutorial - something that I doubt I would have been able to do, even if it were taking place next door to me - so I guess it makes no difference really where any of us are - and that fact, more than anything else, has been one of the most convenient features of my study life with the Open University :)

One of my nephews has gone to a brick Uni, just this last weekend and, although I'm sure he's going to have the best of times there, I'm also certain that so very many people would have been unable to take up the same way of learning, whether through illness, disability, work pressures, having to stay at home because of Caring needs, or many other different reasons. So the Open University has become a life-line to so many of us who want to learn, for whatever reasons.

Another thing I've learned, through looking at the new module website, is that we'll be using the Elluminate facility for our second tutorial and, as I hadn't a clue about it, I decided to go onto my student home-site, and follow the links there that show me how to use it all.

As it happens, I found that I didn't have the right Java installed for the programme, so at least I was able to correct that well before the module starts, and I've found links for me to be able to practice using the programme, so I'll be making use of them as much as I can, before the tutorials start :)

All-in-all, it's been a busy couple of days for me, with a lot busier a time looming shortly.

I'm just glad, and a bit sad, to be getting back into my study harness, for the very last time :)

The new Module website has opened . . .

2011-09-19T01:15:00.000+01:00

. . . although there's no details for my tutor as yet, unfortunately :(

I'm really hoping that I'm assigned a tutor before the module starts on the 1st October, as I want to be able to introduce myself, and fill in some gaps for the tutor, in the knowledge of my particular health problems while studying.

I know if I get behind because of illness, that I'll be able to ask for extensions for my TMA's, if needed, but it's always nice to have that sort of thing already in place, even before, and if, it's needed. The less delay, the less worry, the quicker I'll be able to recover, I figure :)

I guess that's the one thing I've really learned in the last 6 years - with good planning, most things can be sorted out :)

It doesn't look like I'll have any of my fellow students near enough for visits with this module, though, which is a real shame as, being bed-and-house bound, it means that I can't make it to any of the tutorials for this module. In all my 6 years of study, I've only ever managed to go to one of them, and it took me days to recover from the process so, having any fellow students relatively nearby, meant that they could visit me, and we could study together to help prepare for the TMA's. I did this, with some success, in my previous module, and the three of us who met got so much out of meeting, and have become firm friends, despite the differences of age and general life-style involved :)

I think one of the greatest aspects of the Open University, is the true disparity of people who get together over the internet, and who, no matter where they live, or what their lives are like, have found the closest of friends in the furthest reaches of the Open University sphere. It shows that, if everyone is willing to suspend narrow thinking, there is all the will in the world for people to come together with new ideas and thoughts, even if they don't agree with what's being discussed. There is a willingness to agree to disagree, that politicians around the world would do well to copy, and there is a willing openness of mind, that leaves us all able to absorb new, and different, ideas that keep the mind ticking over, and the heart willing to listen.

As this module is my first foray into the stylistics of the English language, I'm a little nervous about learning all the various nuances and styles of delivery that will be used but, no matter what the next few months hold, I know it's going to be an interesting ride into a new world of language for me, and that, with no doubt at all, is something that I totally need to keep this poor brain of mine ticking over :)

I know I'm going to miss it all when it's over, but it will have been the finest stepping-stone into a new life of study and writing, that anyone could have given me, and I'll always be immensely proud to tell anyone that I was given the bricks to build the foundations of my life of study, from the Open University, Milton Keynes :)

Getting back into study-mode . . .

2011-09-07T18:12:00.000+01:00

I've been hoping upon hope that I become well enough, and awake enough, to start looking at the books delivered to me for my new module but, unfortunately, I'm only getting a couple of hours a day when I can think straight, let alone absorb a totally new subject :(

I know, I'm going to have to try, and very soon, as the module starts officially on 1st October - and that's only a couple of weeks away now {gulp}, but I do have to confess that this long break between modules has got me out of the studying habit - again!

Once I've got back to it, even if it's only 15 minutes here, and 20 minutes there, throughout the day, I can normally keep this up, barring really bad-health days, throughout the module. It's getting back into that frame of mind that I find the hardest, though.

I think the problem is, that I've been catching up on my 'normal' reading; trying to reduce that huge 'to read one day' stack of books on my shelves, although, to be honest, I've not really done much of that either this break :/

When I first started to study, the newness of it all was very exciting, and quite a bit scary. But now that I've been doing it for 6 years - with the battles with my ill health throughout it all - I confess to feeling quite weary. I never thought I'd admit this, but, in a way - and probably just temporarily - I'm kind-of glad this will be my final module before getting my BA (Hon)!

Knowing myself, and my love of learning, I'll probably be pining for yet another course after only a couple of weeks of this one ending but, with the huge increase in the module prices, they'd be way out of my league, even if I could pay monthly.

I guess I'll have to keep in mind what I've said before - the freedom from studying with the O.U., will then give me all the time in the world, in order to start researching all the myriads of facts I'm going to need, especially if I'm going to bring one of my story ideas to fruition! As the characters keep nudging me when I've nothing else to think of, it's not something that will go away if I try to ignore it {grin}

But, for now, I guess I'm going to have to try and open those books, and attempt to get into study mode, tout de suite!

Bad news on the Bunny front :(

2011-09-03T02:59:00.000+01:00

Despite all that I did, both baby rabbits died during the night :(

I went online to see if I could find out any reason for it and, apparently, wild rabbits are notoriously hard to raise in captivity - and especially if they are orphaned at a very early age, which these were.

So I guess that explains why whatever I tried didn't work, unfortunately :(

I was very upset at their deaths but, as hubby says, at least we made the attempt.

All life is so very precious, isn't it?

But, I guess, all we can do is try to help if, and when, we can?

Looking after baby . . .

2011-09-01T19:44:00.000+01:00

We had a phone call the day before yesterday.

It was from the co-ordinator of the Badger Rescue Trust for our area and, as hubby is a member, he was called, as he lived the nearest to an emergency call-out.

A phone call had been made to the trust by some holidaymakers, who had found what they thought were some orphaned badger cubs, and so hubby was asked to go pick them up, and keep them overnight, where they would then be picked up by another member who had land safeguarded for Badgers to live in peace.

When he got there, hubby discovered that the new-born babies were Rabbits, and not Badgers. The couple who had found them told hubby that they'd come across the remains of a nest while walking in the woods. The nest was apparently above ground, and with obvious signs of an attack on it, along with one dead kit, and with the remains of an adult animal, but there hadn't been enough remains to see what it had been, hence the mistaken identity.

This kindly couple had gone to the expense of buying powdered lactose, and bottles, in order to feed the 2 orphans but, due to circumstances, they couldn't look after them any more - so, could hubby take them?

Of course hubby did, and he brought them home to me, as he knew I'd do my utmost to keep any young orphaned animal alive, if it were possible :)

Well, I got a box fixed up as a nest, weighed the 2 baby bunny's (1 was 32g, and the other 30g), and I made up the formula, and began the long drawn out task of feeding them both.

I wasn't quite sure how often they would need feeding, so I attempted it every 60-90 minutes or so and, as I could only feed them one tiny drop at a time, I then seemed to have the task in front of me of being awake for quite some time.

This morning, I went online, and found out that they only needed feeding about 4-5 times a day and, as both bunnies had caught on to the idea of beginning to suckle on the bottle teat, which meant that they were drinking a lot more with each session, I breathed a sigh of relief, and managed a couple of hours sleep :)

I weighed the babies this afternoon, and bunny 1 is now 35g, and bunny 2, 34g, so it looks like they are actually putting on some weight.

I don't know whether they will survive, but I'm going to do my utmost to make sure that they do :)

It's just as well that my new module hasn't started yet, isn't it? {grin}

.

And another parcel arrives . . .

2011-08-21T04:09:00.000+01:00

There was a loud knock at the door, and hubby went to see who it was, and there, holding a largish box, was a delivery man from a firm called Yodel.

This isn't a delivery firm I'm familiar with, but hubby signed for the box, then saw it was for me. As I knew I hadn't ordered anything from Amazon or eBay (my usual online shops when I want to buy something - normally books!), I was puzzled as to what it could be.

Imagine my surprise to see, once hubby had managed to open the box for me, all my new course books, guides, and CD-Roms sitting there! I was delighted that they'd come so early, as it means I've now got two sources to be able to read, no matter what my health is like.

Further to my last post, I'd said how delighted I was with the O.U., as they'd gone out of their way to provide me with alternative sources of my course books, as soon as I'd let them know I had health problems, and now I had been delivered of comb-bound versions of these, too.

Any book that is over a certain length, is automatically broken down into smaller sections, and then comb-bound, which means that, when I'm able to handle my books, I'm not having to struggle with large and heavy tomes, but smaller sectioned parts. This makes my life so much easier, and the fact that the O.U. get them sent out in such good time is a real bonus for me :)

When I first started studying with the O.U., I'd started with 10-point courses, to help me get back into study mode, but the instant I'd booked my first 60-pointer and, in a questionnaire sent to me, had informed them of my health issues, I was contacted, and asked if I needed an assessment, as the Uni would then be able to see what was needed to help me function properly as I studied.

Out of that assessment, I became the proud owner of my very first laptop, along with the Dragon Naturally Speaking software that enabled me to be able to continue to write my essays, even when my hands were too bad with the arthritis to be able to use the keyboard!
As well as this, I was given a brilliant book-chair, to hold any of my course books open for me when studying. I was also fitted with a very up-to-date chair, one that was ergonomically shaped, so that I had the best support I could need while using my computer. I was also provided with a special roller-ball mouse, which means that I don't need to keep physically moving it. Just very light touches to the roller-ball, and my cursor moves just where I need it to be!

These aides have made such a difference to the amount of time I can study!

Admittedly, my health has got even worse over the years, and I'm only able to study in short bursts of 10-20 minutes at a time now, before I need to rest, but all these aides make the difference between being able to continue studying, or having to give up on my aim of getting my BA (Hon).

So now, I'm on the brink of studying my very last course - or module, as they call them now - and, probably quicker than I can imagine right now, I will be writing my final End-of-module Assessment, then waiting anxiously to see if I've passed it.

If I do, I won't be doing the awards ceremony thing, but I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I have completed something started, very nervously, around six years ago - and something I'd dreamed of doing many years ago while in my teens, but didn't get the chance to do.

All thanks to The Open University! :)

.

The Open University are definitely OK by me!

2011-08-16T01:15:00.000+01:00

Due to the various health problems I suffer with, I've been having more and more trouble with holding the books I need for my various modules. My last module was the hardest yet, and was also the hardest to cope with, health-wise, especially as I had a really bad flare-up of more than one health issue, which continued throughout the whole course, particularly at the beginning, and at the end.

So it was with delight that I received a parcel in the post, from the OU, containing a CD-Rom, which has supplied me with all of the PDF's for my latest, and last, module, starting in October!

The OU have included both course books, the 2 study guides, and the course guide on it, which means that, when I'm in too much pain to move, let alone hold a book, I'll still be able to keep up with my reading, using the CD-Rom.

I don't know how good it will be as yet, at least, not until I start the module. Due to my health being so variable, I never know from one day to the next, as to whether I can study or not. But one thing is certain - the Open University have gone that extra yard for me, once again!

In the meantime, while I wait for the module to begin, I can at least have a good read of the course books, and this will give me some idea as to how I will be able to cope with whatever my health allows :)

I'm so very glad I joined up with the OU 6 years ago. They have done everything within their power to help me get to this place - just one more module, and I hope, and pray, I will have my BA (Hon) Humanities with Literature! {grin}

The confidence this has given me is absolutely priceless, especially as I started this journey feeling totally and utterly useless, both in myself, and in relation to those around me who love and care for me.
I don't know whether I'll ever be well enough to use all the things I have been taught in my time with the OU but, for a certainty, it has kept me sane, kept my short-term memory loss from getting too advanced, and has also kept the depths of depression I suffer with at a manageable level.

Thank you OU!

.

The results are in . . .

2011-08-05T15:05:00.000+01:00

. . . . . and, to my huge surprise, I managed to get a Grade 2 pass!

To say I'm over the moon with that, is an understatement!
Considering just how ill I was when I did the EMA, I honestly thought I'd only just scrape a pass at all.

This means that, if I can get the same result for my final module, or even if I get a Grade 3 result, then I will be entitled to an Upper Second-class Honours (2:1).

On the off chance I get a Grade 1 pass (in my dreams!) I could claim a First Class Honours degree but, being realistic, I can't ever see that happening :/

I can also put DipLit after my name, as I got my Diploma in Literature as well!

I'm a very happy bunny

I keep on checking up . . .

2011-07-30T03:46:00.000+01:00

. . . . . but there's still no sign of my results for my Children's Lit course.

Yes, I know! It won't be there until 5th August. But I keep on hoping that it'll mysteriously appear, just for me :/

I don't know why I worry so much about what my EMA score will be. After all, I won't be using my degree for any sort of career purposes - although, this afternoon, a good friend did ask me if I had any intention of trying to write something good enough to be published.

My first instinct was to deny this. After all, I can't be the only one with file upon file of rejection slips, can I?

But, thinking about it a bit later on, I had to admit to myself that I haven't quite given up my dream of seeing a book I've written in print yet.

When I was young, I used to dream of writing the greatest literary piece ever, but education and life soon taught me that I'm not really up to those sort of standards. But a girl can dream, can't she? Lol

That's not to say that I don't have a chance at all, because I guess I've got as much chance as anyone else, to do something with all the ideas I have floating about in my head.

As a huge Terry Pratchett fan, I've always fancied the idea he put forward, in one of his earlier books, that all the great ideas are sleeting through the universe and, if you happen to be in the right place at the right time, you might be lucky, and get one bumping into your head!

I've have actually written a children's book recently, and my daughter is going to be illustrating it for me, as I love her style of artwork. She came to stay for a few days recently, and we sat discussing the book, and how we both envisage it, and I realised that there was so much more scope, for developing my book, than I might have realised before I took the two Creative Writing courses with the O.U.
There's also the fact that my last course was a children's lit one, which taught me a lot about how to set out a book, especially one for children.

So, all in all I think, if we can develop this book the way we discussed it, I can't see any reason why I couldn't submit it to a publisher to look at and, you never know, someone might actually like it enough to print it! :)

And in the meantime, I'll keep signing in to student home, in the hope that my result is finally in!

Off with the old, on with the new . . .

2011-07-14T15:26:00.000+01:00

Now that our dear old First Class system is reduced to read only, I find myself missing the busyness of my various favourite forums, which had been saved onto my FC desktop, and so were easily found by accessing FC - which was done with the mere click of a button.
Now, I'm having to negotiate Moodle - a hotchpotch of different pages and links that confuse even the more computer-literate of us, which I'm definitely not!

The biggest problem with this, is accessing the new forums placed on there, which I had been having great trouble finding, ending up going around in circles until I gave up in despair! If it wasn't for a lovely student who was more computer-savvy than I - and many more of us humble students - I'd still be either struggling with the system, or giving up the access to my fellow students, and going it alone, as I'd had to do before getting First Class access in my early years with the Open University.
But, with her idiot-proof, step-by-step instructions, I eventually worked out how to find all my favourite forums on Moodle, and then save them to links on my Student Page!

For the first time in what seemed like ages, I went through the links yesterday, and caught up with all the news, although I've found that many of my favourite forums are still only lightly used - whether by the fact of holidays, or people finding access to Moodle difficult, we shall have to see - although there have been some comments where some students, because of their various disabilities, are finding the whole thing impossible to negotiate - bad news for those of us left, as we are now missing out on the wisdom, and delight, of some very special contributors to the various forums!

I still have no real idea why the O.U., in their supposed wisdom, decided to change over from FC to Moodle - although I suspect the main reason was financial, as usual :(
I find it ridiculous, though, that a facility that was important to all of us far-flung students, has now been compromised for the sake of penny-pinching!

One of the reasons I stuck with the O.U., was the fact that I could contact, and chat with, students from all over the country, and even all over the world practically, and we were able to discuss both the work we were studying, and also any problems we were facing both with study, and personally, which also put us on a par with students who access brick Unis, when they meet up with their fellow students.

FC had made it possible for our forums to feel like a huge family to me, and I loved that instant access to people who had more than studying in common, especially with all my health problems but, with the Moodle access, there isn't the flexibility for discussion that we had with FC, and this is bound to put off students with more serious problems than my own to cope with.

I feel like Mum and Dad have divorced, and we children are now having to cope with step-parents who, although they still look after us, don't have that same family feeling of caring to back it up.
I feel like we are now all second best to the new-born child of this new family group and, like the child with her nose put out of joint by the newcomer, I don't like it at all :(

Looking to the future . . .

2011-07-01T15:41:00.000+01:00

It's the 1st of July, and I'm around 1/4-way into the break between one course and the next. I'm finding it rather like being in limbo, and, although it's giving me time to catch up on the teetering pile of 'to read' books, I'm missing that feeling of edginess I get when my TMA is due in, and I've still got tons of studying to do (I'm always at my best when doing things under pressure! :)

I'm feeling a little sad today. Thinking about this next course, my last one to get my BA (Hon), it's made me realise just how much of my life has been taken up with study - not only with the O.U., but also with my Bible study. although, if it wasn't for still having that to do each day, I think I would be screaming with boredom right about now! :)

With all the changes being made into how education is being funded, I don't stand much hope of being able to continue with my study after I get my BA. It would have been nice to be able to continue with an MA in Creative Writing, but, without that funding, I know it's just a pipe dream :(

What I am hoping I can do, is the occasional 10-pointer, provided TPTB don't price it well beyond my financial scopes! As I've done all the ones I was interested in for the Arts section, I'll probably dip my toes into the world of the sciences, and dabble with various fields, to see if I find any of them as interesting as I've found the literature and creative writing to be.

I'll never be a budding scientist, but it would be nice to discover a little bit more about this amazing world we live on, or even about these bodies we all take so much for granted, until something happens to them! :)

Whatever happens, I can't ever see me giving up on some kind of studying. Even with my hopes for a new world, I see an ever-expanding need for more knowledge, so can't even imagine a reason why I wouldn't be doing something in the learning realm!

Nothing to declare . . .

2011-06-17T03:43:00.000+01:00

I don't know why, but I'm feeling terribly guilty at not writing as regularly as usual on this blog - as if I'm playing truant from school!

I don't think that's something that I ever actually did as a child, as I've always loved learning (mind you, school itself was always a trial to me, as I was such a bookworm, and a real loner).

Thinking back, as a child living in London, one of the few occasions when Mum sent us along to a summer school (I think she'd got thoroughly fed up of having so many energetic children underfoot that year! Lol), I did play hooky for the day, with my cousin Paul, and Mum knew, almost to the moment, when we had left the building, and where we had gone for the day!

As children, we believed her when she said that she had eyes at the back of her head, but what she did actually have, was an extremely efficient network of friends.

Mum knew absolutely anyone worth knowing in our neck of the woods in Willesden, and we always seemed to have a huge amount of aunts and uncles - those deemed close enough friends that these honorifics were apt, as they were like real family to us.

Coming from a big family (6 girls & 1 boy, plus 2 who didn't make it past babyhood), and with a father who was the baby of 16 children, we were used to always being surrounded by hordes of people, and I learned early on to be able to read, and do my homework, despite the noise and bustle.

If it wasn't people talking, laughing, joking, or playing about, then there was always music being played, either from our little transistor radios, (in rather garish colours and very much prized as our latest Christmas presents in the 70's - mine was florescent orange! {grin}), or on my parent's Grundig Radiogram, where mum would pile on all her favourite LP's - normally Irish or Country & Western, and she and her best friend Eileen (Oh, I do miss you, dear lady!), would sit with teacups in one hand, and cigarettes in the other, and sing along at the top of their voices, or just reminisce about the dances they'd gone to, before all the children arrived.

At times the noise would get too much for me, especially if I'd just got back from yet another hospital visit, and I'd creep upstairs to the bedroom I shared with my 3 older sisters, and I'd get into bed, and snuggle down under the covers with whichever book was gripping my attention at the time. I think I was the only one in my family who looked forward to bedtime and, at one point, would be in bed by 6 O'Clock on a lovely summer's evening, just for the short space of peace and quiet I got! {grin}

It's an interesting thing, to look back on your childhood, isn't it?
Very often, if I mentioned a particular incident in our shared childhood, each of my family would tell it from their own viewpoint - and, more often than not, their memories would bear only a slight resemblance to my own recollections.
I've always understood why the police on TV had trouble getting witness statements straightened out. If a murder was committed in a locked room, with 10 people watching, you'd get 10 different viewpoints as to what actually happened!

Memory's a strange thing, and mine's gone from excellent recall, to muddled memories now, due to illness and medications - but the further I look back, the clearer my memories become - is that a sign of age, do you think? {grin}

And it's off!

2011-05-31T03:53:00.000+01:00

Having had to deal with cluster headaches, fibro-fog, and arthritis flare-ups, it's no wonder it took me the entire 4 weeks we were given, to complete my 3,000-word essay, which was set for my EMA (End-of-Module Assignment).

As it happens, I managed to post my EMA the night before the send-by date, which pleased me enormously - so now it's a case of wait-and-see, until the beginning of August, when we will all get our results!

I'm not a very patient person, but I guess that, if I can get at least a Pass 3, it will be worth the wait, and I'll be a very pleased bunny, as I struggled a lot to complete the EMA.

But I guess the most important point here, is that I did complete it, despite wanting to give it up a few times over the course, when my health took me to the lowest point I've ever been in the 6 years I've been studying with the O.U.

Since I sent it off, I've been trying to recover somewhat, and not making a good job of it, hence my silence on the Blog front, but my doctor has changed my medication somewhat, and I stopped taking one of the tablets that was helping to trigger my cluster migraines, so I'm only getting them once or twice a week now, instead of practically daily, so that's a huge improvement for me - and means I can do a bit of writing online again - Yay! Lol

On the study front, I still have my usual Bible study - something I do as naturally as breathing these days - and this will keep my mind occupied, and working, over the summer months. Then, come October, I start my very last course - or module as we're supposed to call them now - for my BA (Hon)!

I'm actually getting quite excited about this one, as a friend sent me some pdf files of the old study guide and one of the study books - and I think that, while the course will be extremely hard for me, I'm really going to love it, as it goes into the history of word use, how meanings have changed, why, and lots of other aspects to do with the English language - very exciting for someone who loves words the way I do! Lol

I looked into the OUSA forum for E301, and there were a lot of links to interesting articles, and other stuff relevant to the course, so I'm going to spend a little of my time over the next few months trying to absorb some of it, in preparation for the start of October - it might help me somewhat in absorbing even a fraction of it all, especially as I have such trouble remembering things with my faulty short-term memory.

If I learn anything interesting, I'm sure to let you know, though. So, until then, enjoy your summer breaks, folks! ;0))

And yet another version . . .

2011-05-19T22:56:00.000+01:00

Between attacks of migraine, I'm managing to add yet more words to my EMA. It's coming on slowly, with yet more changes every time I read it - in fact, it's a totally different version to the one I started off with which, I guess, is normal for me :/

I don't know why, but I've always edited as I've written. I've never been a one to write down absolutely everything in my head, and then come back later to edit and tighten it up. It's as if I have my own, personal, editing suite in my head, that just happens to be switched on all the time!

But the good news, is that I'm almost there with the word count and, with a bit more (or lot more) tweaking, it'll be complete within the next few days - and in plenty of time to submit before the end date!

On another note, I went to both the optician and my doctor today, in the hopes that the migraines were being caused by a need for new glasses. I did need new glasses but, unfortunately, that wasn't the trigger for the migraines :(

My doctor has changed one of my new tablets as, although they are good at raising the serotonin levels, which tend to become low with people who have fibro like I do, there is also the risk that these are the things causing the migraines.
Unfortunately, he has prescribed Amitriptyline for me - something I tried before, and which caused me to become a zombie! I wish I'd realised what he was doing before I had the prescription done, as I know they don't suit me at all!
I've also been prescribed Imigram to help stave off the migraines before they hit full strength, and also another tablet called Pizotifen, another tablet that helps to prevent migraines and cluster headaches, which I've started to get, so I'm hoping and praying they do the trick, as I've enough to cope with as it is, without this!

I'm hoping I'll have my new glasses within the week and, by then I should have finished writing my EMA. If so, I'm looking forward to reading a book that has absolutely nothing to do with studying! Even better, if the tabs my doctor prescribed for me start working properly, it should mean that I can read for more than 30 minutes at a time, for the first time in absolutely months!

Oh, I really, really hope so!

Still slogging onwards . . .

2011-05-11T18:00:00.001+01:00

Well, I'm still plodding away at my EMA, a little bit at a time.

What I have realised, is that although 3,000 words seemed a lot when I started, it's not enough for what I need to include if I'm going to use the 6 books I had originally chosen, so I've had to cut that back to 4 books.

It actually says in the brief that we need to use at least 3 books, so I guess I could get away with cutting another one out, but that would ruin the symmetry I'm trying to create, as well as leaving a huge gap in the time-line I'm following, so I've found that 4 books should just about give me the leeway I need to complete this :)

Anyway, I'd better get back to it, otherwise it'll never be finished!

Best of luck to all you other students doing your EMA's, or cramming for exams!!!!

Still slogging onwards . . .

2011-05-11T17:59:00.000+01:00

And the results are in . . .

2011-04-29T18:19:00.000+01:00

I went online today, to get away from all the wedding frenzy, and, as a matter of course, I checked to see if my results were in - and they were!

I've got my lowest score since joining the O.U. - 62%.

I'm not downhearted, as it's a reasonable pass, considering how ill I've been recently, and the comments left by my tutor were fairly constructive, and entirely reasonable, considering this is a Level 3 course.

The main fault, was that I generalised too much, and that's a definite no-no with this type of study. I hold my hands up to that as, frankly, as soon as I read something, it was gone again, so I found myself generalising just to have something to say, as my mind seems to be a constant blank.

What this means, as far as writing my EMA is concerned, is that I'm going to have to really, really concentrate, so that I don't make the same mistake, as it won't be my tutor marking it. Whoever does so, won't really know why my standards have slipped so much, nor how my illnesses really affect me, although, unless you have the same health problems that I do, I don't think anyone would know just how much it is affecting me :(

All I can do is try every day to do a little bit of the EMA, and then leave enough time towards the cut-off time, so that I can really edit properly, to get as good an essay as I possibly can.
If I can stay at this level, and get a Grade 2 Pass for my course, it won't be so bad as, even if I got a distinction for my next, and last, course, I'll still end up with a Grade 2 Pass for my BA (Hon).

One day at a time . . .

And it's off . . .

2011-04-23T11:00:00.000+01:00

Due to a very understanding tutor (and the fact that she was going away over the weekend), I was given a couple more days grace to complete my TMA, and I did so, at last, 36 hours late :/

The relief of actually getting the thing finished was absolute, and I don't even look at the prospect of the EMA with as much dread as I did this TMA!

The strange thing was, I woke up the next day, with a fully formed idea for a children's picturebook in my mind, so I spent most of yesterday getting it down on virtual paper, before the idea disappeared into the aether. ;0)

I haven't a clue as to whether it's fit for publishing or not but, once I've tidied it up somewhat, I'll crash-test it on some littleuns I know and, if they like it, I might {gulp} send it off to a publisher or two . . . or three . . . or four . . . . . . . . . . . .

This writing lark is so addictive, isn't it? Lol

And I'm into the last straights . . .

2011-04-17T16:04:00.000+01:00

Well, at least, I've actually caught up with myself at last! :)

I've finally finished all the critical readings, and done the activities, and so now I need to turn to the TMA - especially as it's due in this Thursday coming (the 21st).
But at least I've already made a start on it, by completing the introductory paragraph, so I won't be faced by a blank sheet when I get on with it - that's something at least! Lol

But it's the getting on with it that I've a problem with, as I'm here writing this, instead of there, writing the TMA - procrastination is an art form with studying, I've found {grin}

I will get down to it, though. But I do need a break of a day, to get my head around what I'm going to write as, even though I don't write well to a plan, I do at least need some sort of guideline to work on, or it'll just end up an indecipherable mess!

Wish me luck?

Not long to go now . . .

2011-04-10T03:38:00.000+01:00

And I'm in the last week of the actual course work!

I can't believe that 26 weeks can go by so fast!

I'm now on week 27 of the 32 week course - or module as they're now known as - although, to be strictly honest with you, I'm still actually at least a week behind but, because I've still got my final TMA to be in by 21st April ( a 2,000-word essay), and then the EMA - End of Module Assessment - (a 3,000-word essay) to be in by 26th May, I won't actually be officially finished until the end of May.

I can't say that I've enjoyed this course as much as I'd hoped to. Not because it failed to be interesting for me, but because I've had so very many health issues throughout, and so I've spent what little time I've felt well enough to do the work, on frantically trying to play catch-up - not indusive to enjoyment, believe me! :(

For my last TMA, I managed to scrape through with an 80% mark, which I'm exceedingly pleased to have got, considering how ill I was when writing it, and I can't see me getting any better for this next one, due to the same problems. But I am worried about the EMA, as I'm supposed to be sending my tutor a plan of work around about the time that my TMA is due in, so that she can verify that my work is actually my own for the EMA but, as I haven't a clue yet as to which option I'm going to choose, let alone which books and course work I'm going to be selecting to back up my essay, I'm going to have a hard time sending it in.

I never was able to write a plan of what I'm going to write about. For some reason, it always stifles my creativity, as I feel as if I've been boxed in if I write what I'm going to do before I do it!
If I had to write a brief plan of a story for my school work, I'd do the story first, then write a précis of it afterwards, just to keep the teacher quiet. But you could always guarantee that, if forced to write one first, I'd make a complete hash of the story afterwards - something I'm trying to avoid with this course as, if I can pass it, I can actually claim my BA - the first person in my family to achieve this!
But I'm actually greedy, as I want to go for the BA Honours, which means just one more course to do - something I've already booked up for to start this coming October! Lol

I'm just hoping, and praying very hard, that I'll be well enough by then to cope with the new course, as I've chosen E301: The Art of English, a level 3 course that,

'looks at creativity in the English language: from everyday language use (conversation, children’s language, letter writing, online chat) to ‘high culture’ literary language and new kinds of media texts. You’ll consider how ‘verbal art’ works in a wide range of texts, and the extent to which the seeds of literary creativity may be found in more routine uses of English. The course has an international dimension too, enabling you to explore language use in different parts of the English-speaking world, and should help you consider your own daily experiences of the English language.'
(Open University http://www3.open.ac.uk/study/undergraduate/course/e301.htm)

I have to admit that I'm a bit apprehensive, as the students already doing it say it's a hard one, but I've always been fascinated about how we use language, and so would love to learn more about it - and the point of me doing all this studying is to stretch my mind more than I have been, and to keep my mind stimulated, as I've so many problems with short-term memory loss, and my doctor thought that studying would help - which it has done.
My doctor was very pleased with my progress, up until this course, when my health has taken such a down-swing, but he told me he was glad that I was having a break between courses, as it will give me time to recover somewhat, we both hope!

But I have to confess that I dread the finish of my degree as, if I'm hit with all the changes this government is making for the ill and disabled, then I won't be able to afford to continue doing any more courses after this, and there are so many 10-pointers that I would love to do, just to keep my hand in, so-to-speak :(

I guess it's just another of those things I'll have to cope with when it happens and, in the meantime, I guess I need to get back to my studying! :)

One last chance for you to stop the harsh new ESA test!

2011-03-29T14:22:00.000+01:00

I don't normally put stuff on here that has a political taste

to it, but I really feel that this issue needs to be addressed,

and as quickly as possible, so I have posted the latest

newsletter I have received from the Benefits and Work site, below:

One very last chance for you to stop the harsh new ESA test

28 March 2011
In spite of the fact that the harsh new work capability assessment (WCA),
the medical test for employment and support allowance (ESA), became law
today, there is still a chance of getting it cancelled.

But it does depend on you urgently attempting to persuade your MP to get
off their . . . seat and do something useful before they go off on their Easter
holidays next week.

Labour leader Ed Miliband and 7 Labour MPs tabled an early day motion on
23 March ‘praying’ for the new WCA to be annulled. New regulations like
these can be overturned by a vote for up to 40 days after they were laid.
Because the DWP messed up the laying of the regulations and had to lay
them again, the 40 days does not run out until 6 April.

There is a huge irony in the labour party challenging the harsh new WCA
when they actually drew it up themselves, but didn’t have time to
implement it before being booted out of power. The line labour is taking
to justify their u-turn is that the recommendations in the Harrington report
should be implemented before any consideration is given to further changes
to ESA.

And, whatever the reason for labour’s change of tactic, there is a chance
that there could be a debate, a slim possibility there could be a vote and
a tiny chance that the government could be defeated. We know that a
similar process in the House of Lords ended in feeble surrender last
week, but a tiny chance is better than no hope whatsoever.

So, please consider contacting your MP as a matter of urgency and ask
them to support EDM 1651 to try to halt this shameful new test which
discriminates against many seriously sick and disabled claimants including,
for example, blind people with guide dogs.

You can view the early day motion here.

You can send a standard form email to your MP objecting to the changes
by entering your details on the Leonard Cheshire website. You can read
and approve the whole email before it is sent, once you have entered
your details.

Alternatively, you can
email your MP objecting specifically to the provisions relating to visually impaired people using the RNIB site.

Or you can fax your MP from here.

NEW ESA GUIDES
We do apologise that it’s taking us longer than we’d hoped to get the new
WCA guides published - the revised test is as confusing, complicated and
unfair as its predecessor.

But the DWP’s WCA Handbook (180 pages), which is the guidance given to
Atos health professionals, and our guide to Understanding ESA (43 pages)
can now be downloaded from the members area. (Members only).

Please note: the site may run slowly or even crash at times on Tuesday
given the size of these files and the number of people likely to be
downloading them

The guide to qualifying for both the work-related activity group and the
support group on physical health grounds (73 pages)will be available
from sometime on Tuesday 29 March. The mental health and learning
difficulties guide will be available on Thursday 31 March.

We will also be publishing an extended guide to ESA appeals within
the next two months, but in the meantime the current appeals guide
still applies.

We welcome suggestions and feedback about the new guides. You
can email us atinfo@benefitsandwork.co.uk Unless, of course, the
new WCA is annulled next week, in which case we won’t care what
anyone thinks because we’ll be removing them from the site.

Now, please do go and give your MP – for whom the expenses regime
has just been relaxed because it was considered too complex,
time-consuming and unfair - a poke before they go off on their 3
week Easter holiday next Tuesday .

Which is followed by a 2 week Whitsun holiday at the end of May,
7 weeks summer holiday from mid-July and then nearly 4 weeks
off for party conferences from mid- September.

You can quite understand why they don’t have time to fill in
complicated claim forms, can’t you?

Good luck,

Steve Donnison
Benefits and Work Publishing Ltd
Company registration No. 5962666

DPAC - Protest against the cuts - on 26th March

2011-03-23T11:06:00.000Z

There is to be a protest march in London, on 26th - this is against all the cuts to Benefits for the most vulnerable in society.
If, like me, you will be unable to attend, could you show your support by going online at the following link, and registering your protest, so you can be included in the map being filled in by those unable to attend?

The link is:

http://www.dpac.uk.net/2011/03/in-solidarity-with-the-protesters-on-the-streets-on-26-march-online-map-disabled-people-and-allies/

As an aside, after a lot of struggle, and an extension granted by my tutor, I've managed to finish my TMA, and send it off to be marked!

I probably won't get the same average mark I have had before, but that's fine - I just want to pass, so I can complete this course!

I start my final Block today - Contemporary Trends, which looks very interesting - and then it's one more TMA, and then the End-of-Module Assessment, some 3,000 words. To a wordy girl like me, sheer heaven! Lol

With my health in tatters the way it is, just to complete this course will be an amazing achievement, so I look forward to the end of the module with as much enthusiasm as I had started out with.

2011-03-12T22:59:00.000Z

Well, by dint of a lot of effort, and too much pain for me to cope well with, I've managed to catch up with the work that needs doing, and now I've got until Thursday at 12 noon, to write a 2,000 word essay - and I haven't a clue what I'm going to write as yet!

By now, I've usually got some sort of plan written out, even if it's only the bare bones of one, but my mind is a total blank right at the moment - not helped by hubby deciding he's going to sing away at all the oldies he loves, and using his own words when he can't remember the real ones! {grin}

I know I'm going for Option 2, but that's as far as it goes at the moment - I guess it's a case of - watch this space . . .

Nothing's going well . . .

2011-03-05T15:02:00.000Z

Well, I'm still battling ill-health, as I desperately try to keep up with my course work.

I'm about a week behind everyone else at the moment, and I'm finding it very hard to keep up a sustained study routine. Every time I get into study-mode, yet another headache happens and, as my eyes start going all wobbly, with the flashing lights that are always a precursor to a migraine for me, I then have to immediately stop what I'm doing, or suffer the consequences :(

This is making for a very disjointed study routine, and I'm forgetting everything I've read by the time I can go back to it - which is oh-so-very frustrating for me! Grrrrrr

I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon, and he's ordered a whole raft of blood tests for me to have next week, so I'm just hoping something comes of it. In the meantime, he's prescribed me something that will, hopefully, give me a little more energy, so that I don't keep falling asleep over my books!

The Block I'm studying at the moment, is all about picturebooks, and how they are perceived by both adults and children, and I must say, what little I've been able to read so far, has been very interesting.

I just hope I can keep on studying it all over the next few weeks, as I'd hate to get so behind again, that it makes it awkward to be able to do my next TMA!

And the result is in . . .

2011-02-28T03:07:00.000Z

As previously said, I've been going through a really bad patch, health-wise, and had to ask for an extension for my TMA 04, as I'd spent the previous few weeks to it so ill I couldn't study.

Having been given that time, I made a really concerted effort to get my TMA done, and I managed it, finishing it just over 2 1/2 days past the due-by date.

I didn't hold out much hope of getting more than a pass, and would have been more than happy with that, to be honest but, much to my shock, I looked online a couple of days back, and saw that I'd passed, and with a brilliant (for me) pass mark!

To be honest, I had to keep checking that I hadn't managed to sign in on someone else's account by mistake but, sure enough, it was my own.

I believe the old-fashioned phrase for how I felt is, utterly flabbergasted! {grin}

I'm not quite sure how this is working, with me being out of my head with pain most of the time recently, but still getting great marks - unless it's that, with the forefront of my thinking processes being out of action, the instinctive part of the brain - that has all of the knowledge, but is distracted by the mundane things in life getting in the way - has made different connections, and now has a chance to shine for a change?

I really haven't a clue but, as long as this downer in my health is continuing, I just hope that, whatever it is, it keeps on working! Lol

A bit late, but better late than never!

2011-02-20T13:39:00.000Z

For only the second time since I started studying with the Open University, I got to the point where I wasn't sure that I'd be able to post a TMA!

But, after an appalling few weeks, health-wise, I've actually managed to post my TMA 04 yesterday!
I can't tell you how relieved I was to see the back of it - 2 1/2 days late but, as I said, better late than never!

I actually thought at one point that I'd never get it done, as I've spent the last few weeks either curled up in a ball of agony, with an awful migraine attack added to my other woes (triggered by this stupid virus I'm suffering with, I'm sure), or else sleeping for Britain!

What I did post wasn't my best work, by any means, but I knew that, if I didn't post it then, I wouldn't do so at all, as this fatigue thing is getting worse :(

Ever since I had swine flu, in October, 2009, I've had issues with fatigue and then, getting another virus around Christmas time, I now feel as if I'm spending the majority of my life sleeping :(
I've gone from barely getting any sleep at all, because of pain, to not being able to stay awake for any more than 3 hours (if I'm lucky) in any 24 - and this, despite the pain!

Viruses really do have a lot to do with it, I'm sure and, as soon as my doctor is back in the surgery (hopefully, some time next week), hubby's taking me there, to see if there are any tests that can be done, to find out what the virus is, and if there's something I can take that will get rid of it, and help to wake me up a bit :(

And in the meantime, I'm now a week behind on the course-work but, also for the first time, I'm not going to fret over it!
I'm going to do what I can, when I can, and try to get my health sorted out before anything else for once!

Diary of a Benefit Scrounger: Open letter to Maria Miller

2011-02-16T19:57:00.000Z

Diary of a Benefit Scrounger: Open letter to Maria Miller: "Dear Maria Miller, Before I start, I have a small request. When you talk about 'The Disabled' could you please add 'The Sick' in there some..."

- but mainly downs . . .

2011-02-10T23:28:00.000Z

It's been a very trying time for me this last few weeks.

Because of my problems with this virus - one that seems to want to make a permanent home with me - I've had more and more difficulty in doing the work on Block 4.
So much so, that I had to give in and email my tutor, to let her know how far behind I'm getting :(

I've now got migraines coming on every few days, no doubt triggered by the virus, as Hubby's been getting rotten headaches with the virus, too and, as I used to get migraines all the time at one point, I guess there's a weakness there that the virus triggered again :(

Anyway, I got a lovely email back from my tutor, who basically advised me to try Option 2 for this TMA, as the question is much clearer and, as she also gave me a week's extension, so that I could catch up some, I decided to have a go.

As I can only come online for half-an-hour-ish at a time, or risk triggering another migraine, it hasn't been easy to begin my new option, but I did manage to do some research into Children's Book Awards; who judges them, and the criteria for that judging, so I feel as if I've at last started towards getting the info I need for the TMA!

My tutor made a comment in her email, about how I'm so hard on myself where dealing with the work I need to is concerned, and it made me think - and I guess she's right about that.

I've always been my own hardest task-master, and have never been able to just leave something I've started - hence trying to continue with an option that was defeating me, with all the problems I'm having - but it's something deeply engrained into my psyche, and I guess I'm too old now to try and change it now, though I do try.

I read on one of the disability forums, that people who suffer with problems such as Fibromyalgia, ME, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome etc., are all types that have always been the organisers in the family - the one who everyone turns to for problem-solving, or who is the first to volunteer to add yet another task to their list.
I guess they are right, as I had always tried to manage running the house, work a full-time job, bring up my child, look after the finances, and be the chief cook-and-bottle-washer.
That's not to say that my Hubby didn't do any of these things, as he is a better housekeeper than I will ever be - it's just that I felt it was my job to take these responsibilities off his hands, especially as, before I became too ill to work, he was a Tree Surgeon/Feller, and his job was so dangerous and stressful, that I didn't want him coming home to any more responsibilities.
Because of that, I hid how ill I was becoming, until I collapsed - and, in the end, he had to leave his work anyway, to look after me full-time!

Oh, what tangled webs we weave . . . .

Ups and Downs . . .

2011-01-31T06:32:00.000Z

Well, it was definitely a week of ups and downs for me this week!

The virus is still hanging about like an unwelcome guest at a party, and I've got no energy whatsoever, but I'm slowly but surely struggling along with my studies.

I'm managing it by doing 10 minutes here, and 15 minutes there, and just doing what I can, when I can.
Unfortunately, I'm not absorbing as much as I would like, which means I'll be having to go over it all again to do my TMA - but I guess I'm getting used to having to do this now :(

On a high point, I've finished the section on Tom's Midnight Garden, and have actually started reading Roll Of Thunder, Hear My Cry (ROTHMC) again, as I had read it once in the summer when my books arrived, so at least I'm only a day or two behind schedule! :)

Both Hubby and I are going around feeling like wet rags, and we're just hoping like mad that this virus goes away soon. Mind you, at least I haven't got the ragged cough that Hubby has - one of the benefits of giving up smoking nearly 5 years ago now! Lol

I have to admit that, as much as I am enjoying this module, I am finding it the hardest to concentrate on out of all of them - now all I need is for my mind to clear enough to do the job I want it to! :0))

Result!

2011-01-23T03:50:00.000Z

I had a phone call from a fellow student from my tutorial group, and she told me our results were in, so I quickly went to the site to get my results and, much to my amazement, and total delight, I'd managed another 85%.

I honestly hadn't imagined that I'd get as good a mark as my previous one, so I'm over the moon with it.:)

Now all I have to do, is to try and shift this virus that I've got, so that I can concentrate on the next Block of the Module - much easier said than done at the moment, and I'm even having a job to concentrate enough to read the set books. :(

I managed to finish reading Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome, and I've also even read all the critics for that section, but I'm now on to Tom's Midnight Garden by Philippa Pearce and, although I'm enjoying the story, I'm finding it a job to concentrate enough to keep reading the book, let alone all the critics. I manage a few pages, and then I find that I've dozed off - not the fault of the story, but just this virus dictating to me! Grrrr

I'm really, really, hoping that I feel better soon, as there is so much reading to be done in this section, and I just can't concentrate enough to do it at the moment :(

I've not only got TMG to read, as well as all the critics attached to this section, but there is also Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D Taylor, to get through - although I do remember it being an excellent story, so I'm looking forward to that :)

I did read all of the set books (apart from Swallows and Amazons) at the beginning of the summer last year, and I do still remember the basic plot-line of them all but, of course, I need a lot more than that to be able to complete the activities necessary to get my TMA04 written.

Let's just hope the virus goes soon, so I can get what little energy I would normally have, back again :)

New Year, new goals . . .

2011-01-13T18:22:00.000Z

Well, it's certainly been a busy two weeks for me since I posted last!

I've been ill with a virus that, thankfully, didn't turn into the swine flu I had suffered through, in October 2009, although the high temperature, blocked, and very painful ears, and itchy, scratchy throat are still being a nuisance.
At one point, my temp was so high I was hallucinating a bit, which wasn't too pleasant but, despite it all, I had a 2,000-word essay to write for TMA 03.

I'd chosen Option 2 for this, as I wrote previously and, although it took me ages to find all the quotes I wanted from the various critics involved in the course-work (or modules, as we have to call them now), I managed to get what I needed to answer the question.
Despite marking things as I go along, normally in different colours for each critic, or subject, my short-term memory is so bad, I forget most of the time just why I've marked a particular passage :(
I've tried all sorts of things to aide in memory retention but, as usual, I never remember them, and end up having to trawl through the sections I need for each particular question.

It gets so very frustrating for me, this lack of memory thing, as I used to have a superb ability to bring anything I needed out of my short, and long-term memory storage. Alas that is no more! :/

Anyhoo, I worked away for most of a week, getting a rough draft together, which I then sent off to a fellow student, with whom I swap essays for proof-reading and, apart from a few bits and bobs that made no sense to her (and which I concurred with after reading it again), she said it answered the specific question, which was all I was concerned with really :)

For the next few days I edited!

For me, the process of editing is an all-out experience, and I give over everything that I am to the process - no half-measures for me! Lol

So, in between bouts of hallucinations, and deathly tiredness, I worked on the essay until, if I'm honest with you, I was then sick of the sight of {grin}. I kept editing until I thought it worked with a definite smoothness between paragraphs, and the word-count had been reduced by about 500 words, back to the 2,000 word limit, plus the 5% leeway allowed (thank heavens for the leeway! Lol)

I went over it again the day I posted it to the O.U (two days ago), made some last-minute adjustments (as you do), and then sent the thing packing, with a huge sigh of relief! {grin}
I won't get the results for it, until around 14 days after the final submission date - which was today at mid-day - so I will now be worrying myself sick that I've done disastrously, until it comes back marked, and I'll know then if I've done right or not.

I honestly don't think I'll get as good a grade as with TMA 02, but I do hope it'll be more than I got for TMA 01!

In the meantime, I've started reading the set book for the next block, Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome and, much to my surprise, I'm actually enjoying it!
There's a tad too much nautical expression for my taste but, over all, I'm surprised by myself in my enjoyment of a story about middle-class children, who are having an adventurous boating holiday in the Lake District, set in the 1920's.
I'm just about half-way through it now, so I reserve my final judgement until I've finished it, but I think it will be an overall pleasant reading experience for me. :)

A few days ago, I decided to look at my overall work with the O.U., and I figured it was time to choose the final course needed for me to gain my BA (Hon).

The choices that I found are quite limited, as anything with an exam at the end of it is a definite no-no, as my memory problems would make attempting an exam a total disaster, and a waste of all the energy I have to put in, to do the module work itself.

AA306 Shakespeare: text and performance was out, as was the module that really appealed to me, AA316 The19th Century Novel, as both had an exam at the end. :(

Another choice could have been E303: English Grammar in Context but, as I haven't dealt fully with the grammar side of things, it would be a disaster waiting to happen!

The only other choice - or so I thought - was A300, 20th Century Literature: texts and debates, which does have an EMA (end-of-module-assessment), but the books being studied, most of which I have read over my lifetime, just didn't appeal to me very much.
This left me in a real quandary, until I happened to spy E301: The art of English!

I clicked on the link, and read the module introduction, and it looked quite intriguing, so I went onto First Class, looked on the Signpost for the E301 Forum, and placed it on my desktop, so I could ask the students, presently studying it, for their opinion and, as luck would have it, I spotted the names of two students that I've known since joining the O.U.
I messaged them privately, to ask their opinions, and received a much welcome response so, with no hesitation, I've now pre-booked my place for the October, 2011 start!

I know the course is going to stretch me but, from all I've seen of the work involved so far, I think it's going to be an enjoyable challenge - one I think I need, if I'm going to keep my poor old brain working to the best of its capacity!

So, I'm now half-way through this present module, and I've got my last module for my BA (Hon) decided upon. Which isn't too bad a goal, for a working-class girl who had to break short her first attempt at further education in order to help support her family, who now has a body that doesn't want to do what she wants it to, and a brain that decided to stop working properly some time ago!

Wishing you Peace and Joy in the coming new year!

2010-12-31T16:33:00.000Z

I hope that all who read this will find Peace, Joy and much Love in the coming new year.

May God keep you all in His care :)

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Peter Pan - the lost boy

2010-12-22T03:19:00.000Z

We are dealing with Peter Pan at this point of our module and, due to my fluctuating health, I'm way behind everyone else. This panicked me for a while, but I realised that I've got all this holiday break to be able to catch up.
Yet another reason to be grateful that I stepped away from all the madness of this season! Lol

It's been really interesting to read the critics about Peter Pan, and my eyes have been opened to a lot more aspects concerning both the play, and it's creator, J. M. Barrie.

My whole experience of Peter Pan, had been the story read to me as a child, and then learning to read it myself, and then I saw the 2003 film after it was released. These didn't prepare me for reading the original play script, and it amazed me how differently it was conceived by it's author, and how the passing of time has changed the aspects of it's viewing.

I've a feeling that the Disney viewpoint is a much more powerful one to children today although, as it was originally written as a pantomime, and now enjoys a repeat performance as such every winter, that is something fixable - although I suspect that there are a lot more children familiar with the film than have ever had a chance to see the play!

At the beginning of this block in the module, we dealt with a whole section on poetry, and I was reunited with quite a few of my childhood favourites, in the book needed for the module, 100 Best Poems.
One of the poems, The Fairies, written by William Allingham in 1850, is one that I need to use in my next TMA and, on reading it, I could see why it was being used for comparison and contrast with Peter Pan. I'm very much looking forward to using it, as it immediately caught my attention:

The Fairies

Up the airy mountain
 Down the rushy glen,
 We daren't go a-hunting,
 For fear of little men;
 Wee folk, good folk,
 Trooping all together;
 Green jacket, red cap,
 And white owl's feather.

Down along the rocky shore
 Some make their home,
 They live on crispy pancakes
 Of yellow tide-foam;
 Some in the reeds
 Of the black mountain-lake,
 With frogs for their watch-dogs,
 All night awake.

 High on the hill-top
 The old King sits;
 He is now so old and gray
 He's nigh lost his wits.
 With a bridge of white mist
 Columbkill he crosses,
 On his stately journeys
 From Slieveleague to Rosses;
 Or going up with music,
 On cold starry nights,
 To sup with the Queen,
 Of the gay Northern Lights.

 They stole little Bridget
 For seven years long;
 When she came down again
 Her friends were all gone.
 They took her lightly back
 Between the night and morrow;
 They thought she was fast asleep,
 But she was dead with sorrow.
 They have kept her ever since
 Deep within the lake,
 On a bed of flag leaves,
 Watching till she wake.

 By the craggy hill-side,
 Through the mosses bare,
 They have planted thorn trees
 For pleasure here and there.
 Is any man so daring
 As dig them up in spite?
 He shall find the thornies set
 In his bed at night.

 Up the airy mountain
 Down the rushy glen,
 We daren't go a-hunting,
 For fear of little men;
 Wee folk, good folk,
 Trooping all together;
 Green jacket, red cap,
 And white owl's feather.

        William Allingham (1850)

With the themes of fairies, magic, and abductions, it's a good poem to use, and I look forward to doing so :)

One poem I discovered in the book, was  Blake's 'Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright' - a poem that fascinated me as a child, and which I still love today, so it was fortunate that I had to buy the book for the module - it was so comforting to be reunited with a childhood memory! :)

And the results are in . . .

2010-12-09T03:53:00.000Z

I had a phone call yesterday, from a fellow student in my tutorial group, and she told me the results are in for our latest TMA so, with great trepidation, I went online to have a look.

I expected to have a similar result to my first TMA but, to my delighted amazement, I'd managed to score a massive 85%!

In all the years I've been studying, I've only once got higher than that - I'd managed 2 x 88% passes for my first Creative Writing module - and I'm totally gobsmacked that I have managed to get such a high mark again - we're talking about a Pass 1 mark here, for a girl who fights to keep up with Pass 2 results!

After receiving my lowest score for my first TMA, it's made me so happy to get such a good result with this one, especially as my health has been appalling while doing it!

When I think about it, the last time I got such brilliant results, was when my health was really bad, and I was struggling to keep up with the course!

Go figure . . .

And another TMA has gone!

2010-12-03T09:40:00.000Z

I don't know whether it is age, or just the sheer fact of being so busy, but I couldn't believe that yet another month has flown by!

I crammed so much study into the last month, both secular and biblical, that I often didn't know whether I was coming or going - and frequently met myself going both ways {grin}

But, despite another bout of bad health, I was happy to be able to get my TMA02 off in time on Thursday, despite last-minute panics that I'd need to use an extension to finish it off.

I have to admit that I'm struggling a bit with this course. I'm not sure whether it's a lot tougher than I had expected, or whether its just a by-product of my illness, that makes it harder to comprehend, and retain, the knowledge that, at one time, would have been a doddle for me to absorb but, whatever the cause, the result is that I'm having to read, and then re-read, all the information needed for me to complete my TMA's.
And there's such a lot of information that needs absorbing with this course!

I've lost count of how many critics I've had to read for this TMA and, no doubt, as the course progresses, there will be even more!
I'm not really complaining of this (well - not much, anyway!) but I do find it hard that something I used to take for granted, has now become a bit of a chore for me to complete. But, despite this, I really do enjoy the process of learning new things, and wouldn't dream of giving up so close to the finishing line.

I only have this course, and one more level 3, to do, and then, supposing I pass both of them, I will have achieved my BA (Hon) - with a lot of effort, and, no doubt, frequent pulling of hair, and gnashing of teeth - something every student is intimately familiar with at one time or another!

I'm not sure whether I'm looking forward to that time with gratitude that this marathon stint of learning will be over, or with regret that it is, but one thing's for sure, I'll still be pressing the button that means I've booked yet another course with the Open University - even if it's only a 10-pointer to keep my hand in!

There is something truly addictive about the process of learning new things - something I rediscovered when I started studying the Bible - and I don't think it's something that I'll ever want to stop!

The results came in . . .

2010-11-20T22:52:00.000Z

Due to being terribly busy with my course work, it's been a while since I came to my blog, and I realised that I hadn't posted my TMA01 results.

I got them back two weeks after the cut-off date and, for the first time since I became a student with the Open University, I was terribly disappointed with the results.

I had got 64% - the lowest ever for me - and it was a good few hours before I got over the disappointment - mainly due to good friends telling me off for trying to be such a perfectionist, both because of my state of health, and because this is a level 3 course and, apparently, for the first TMA, this was a fairly good result!

It just goes to show, how habit has a way of ruling your life, because, throughout my education while growing up, I was always a straight-A student, and the limits my bad health have put on me now are things I rail against fervently!
I could cry at times when I think of how sharp my mind was, how good my memory and, now, through illness and medication taken, I feel as if I have been robbed of something special, something that was an intrinsic part of who I am.
(Sorry folks, I'm over my winging fit now {grin})

Anyhoo, as I was saying, I've been really busy since I sent in my first TMA, and it has been a bit of a shock at just how much I'm having to read for this course - this not being helped by the fact that I fall asleep at the drop of a hat, so I find myself having to re-read what I've already done, just to remember what it was!
Veeery frustrating! Lol

But, despite all that, I'm actually enjoying this course much more than I thought I would, despite the fact that there's just so many critics to read, understand, absorb, and comment on! :)

My mantra has become, 'I know I can do it, I'm sure I can do it, I will do it!'

My TMA is finished, and sent! :)

2010-10-31T15:10:00.000Z

I was really relieved to see the back of my TMA during the week, and I don't think I've worked as hard on one as I did this - much to the bemusement of my hubby who, while used to my absentmindedness during TMA time, had it in spades this time!

Because I've spent the last two years dealing with Creative Writing courses, I'd got out of the habit of writing a purely literary essay, and so I was double, and triple, checking everything to make sure it was as exact as I could make it - especially the referencing at the end!

This meant more concentration, which meant more tiredness for me, with my health problems, and my hubby often came into the room to find me fast asleep in front of the laptop. Lol

But, it's all over and done with now, so I have a week or so to wait and see how well, or not, I've done with it. :)

In the meantime, it's on to Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, and Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson.

Half way through the first block.

2010-10-18T12:25:00.000+01:00

I'm amazed at how quickly these first two weeks have flown past already, and have just had my first face-to-face tutorial, which has been a huge help in getting things straight in my mind, and has got me ready to do my first TMA (Tutor-marked Assignment).
I started off, not absolutely sure of which option to choose but, now that I've worked further into my Block 1 activities, I've definitely chosen option 2 to work on: this is about the development of the fairy tale, with Little Red Riding Hood as the main subject matter.

The course has surprised me somewhat, in that we are dealing more with the history, and ideologies, of children's literature, rather than the books themselves.
We are investigating how, and why, children's literature developed, and how we, as adults, view the whole subject of childhood: how childhood has been perceived throughout history, and what is considered 'suitable' reading for children, depending on the social ideologies prevalent at the time a book is published.
In order to do this, we need to read the books that are listed for the course and, while some of them have delighted me, others have made me quite uncomfortable in their frankness, with Junk, by Melvin Burgess being one, and Coram Boy by Jamila Gavin, which moved me deeply in a different way, another.
I guess that this is a positive thing in it's way, as it makes me question why I reacted to each book as I did, and so I am delving deeper into the reasons that a book is published in the first place; whether it is deliberately written for the shock factor, or whether the author wishes to address certain problems or issues that we are having to deal with as a society.
What is perceived as a 'good' book for children is another topic we are looking at, and how the ideologies of different groups in society influence what becomes popular with both children, and their parents.

There is a real prevalence today for stories dealing with magic, witchcraft, vampires, and various subjects around these themes, and I can't ever imagine my mother allowing me to read these books when I was a child, mainly because I had such a vivid imagination that they would have given me nightmares but, what is unsuitable for one generation, or for individuals, becomes the norm for another, and this is where personal ideologies fit in with the choices we make in our reading matter.

I, personally, saw no problem in my daughter enjoyed the Harry Potter and Northern Lights series when they first appeared, and saw her enjoyment as a way of encouraging her to read more but, as I had always taken them more as adventure stories with moral overtones, rather than dwelling on the subject matter of magic, wizards, and alternate universes, there was no conflict for me.
I admit that I still see no problems with reading, and enjoying, the books as, to me, they are something I always see as a 'ripping good yarn' - stories that, for me, deal with the fight between good and evil, and how we cope with all the many grey shades in between.

To some, the books would be seen as having to be avoided, especially as they deal with the subject of sorcery, but I guess that, when it comes down to it, each person must examine their own heart, and conscience, as to what they consider okay to read, and it is certainly not for me to say what is, or isn't, the 'right' kind of books for children to read - I leave those decisions to the people that matter - the parents, and the children themselves.

And we're off . . .

2010-10-02T07:35:00.000+01:00

Today I start my new course - officially, that it!

I actually started reading through the Study Guide last Saturday, just to see what was what, and it got me so interested, I started doing the activities.
They aren't easy, and I had to resort to the dictionary a couple of times but, so far, I'm really enjoying it!

For this first block, my choice of reading material is either J. K. Rowlings' Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone or Philip Pullman's Northern Lights, so I re-read the two.
But, having enjoyed both so much, I couldn't resist going on to read the rest of both series, and now I'm using all that time, when I lay there not sleeping, in a more constructive way, by finishing off the Harry Potter series, now that I've read the Dark Materials trilogy.
I've always had a problem with leaving books alone if they are part of a series, I just can't leave it at the first book, but have to continue on until I complete the whole series, otherwise it nags and nags at me until I do so {grin}
This means that, rather than the 14 books on the list, along with the Peter Pan DVD, I'm now reading quite a few more, as I've also got the rest of Philip Reeves' Mortal Engines series. Lol

One thing I am sure of, I'm going to have a job deciding on which option to choose for my TMA 01 - it's Harry Potter or Northern Lights for Option 1 - or Option 2 is to do with Little Red Riding Hood, one of my favourite childhood stories - help!

Almost at the starting post . . .

2010-09-23T20:57:00.000+01:00

In a matter of days I'll be starting EA300 officially, although I have made a head start of week one's activities. I've also been told who my tutor is and, as luck would have it, she's my previous tutor, so I'm happy to know that I'm in capable hands :)

I've glanced through most of the course books and, while a bit apprehensive at doing a 'proper' Lit course again, I'm hoping that I'll get back into the groove of essay writing quite quickly. I hope I will, anyway! {grin}

I've thoroughly enjoyed reading all the books from the list, although I've still to read Swallows and Amazons, and also Treasure Island, but I'll be able to do that in plenty of time for the start date, so I'm not worried about it.

One thing that upsets me a little, is that we haven't got a proper tutor forum on First Class any more :(

The Open University, in their not-so-infinite wisdom, have decided it costs too much, and we are all being switched over to Moodle for our course forums - a rather clunky way of doing things, and I'm afraid we'll be losing all those social forums that have kept us all in touch with each other, despite the distance between us all - a bad move on the O.U's part, I feel, as they were the equivalent of a brick Uni's social club, and were a great appeal to so many students stuck at home in lonely solitude.

I guess time will tell whether it is a good thing or not - though I really do suspect not . . .

My course books are here!

2010-08-29T15:05:00.001+01:00

I was over the moon when my course books were delivered a couple of days ago, and I've now had a quick glance through them, and am really looking forward to the course starting :)
I'll be studying them more in-depth once our forum opens on 11th September, as I'll then have access to our TMA questions, which means I'll have some idea of the direction I'll need to go in my study.

I read most of the list books after the ending of my last course, to familiarise myself with ones I had never read, and to remind myself of the ones I had, but I am going to read through them all again before October - including the new Neil Gaiman book, The Graveyard Book, which, although isn't on the list, was recommended by lots of people on the EA300 forum, so I'm looking forward to that :)
Neil Gaiman is one of my daughter's favourite authors, and she has always loved his Sandman book, so I look forward to reading something else he has written.

I've been very impressed, so far, with the books we will be studying and, if I'm honest, a little envious of children today for their sheer volume of choice in reading matter. I loved the classics I was brought up with, but today's child is really spoilt for choice over the good quality writing that's available to them. :)

All-in-all, I'm really happy I chose Children's Literature to study next! :)

.

The good news and the bad news . . .

2010-08-04T08:21:00.000+01:00

My good news is that, as of yesterday, I have passed A363, Advanced Creative Writing, which also means that I'm now the proud owner of a Diploma in Literature and Creative Writing. ;~))
I got a Grade 2 pass which was, frankly, a huge surprise for me - so I'm well delighted at the result!
I only learned that the results were in, because a couple of my fellow students posted on Facebook that they had passed, so I, figuratively, hot-footed it to the Open University site, and signed in to see how I did :)
I got 77%, which amazed me, considering how ill I'd been throughout the whole course, so I'm just so grateful to whoever the kind person was who marked my ECA, and who must have given me the benefit of the doubt {grin}

My bad news, is that I got a letter in the post yesterday, and I hadn't even been placed in ‘The 4th Annual Ted Walters International Short Story, Poetry and Playwriting Competition 2010’ :(
I had entered my very first attempt at a sci-fi story, so I guess I wasn't surprised at the result, especially considering that the competition came from a Merseyside Creative Writing group, with the help and full support of the University of Liverpool’s Continuing Education Centre.
Still, it's a learning curve that every writer has to go through, I guess :/

As I didn't get anywhere, I've decided to post my story on my Blog, and would be grateful for any critique that may be offered on my efforts. It's the only way I'm going to learn what I'm doing wrong, I guess. :)

Anyway, here it is below. It's 2,000 words long, and it's called:

And There Is A Right Way (c)

As the stark, white sun sank beyond the horizon, Zed placed the burning torch into the Ptwarin in front of him. For a second nothing happened; the only sound was the wind whipping the flames, sending sparks flying in the air to dance briefly in a firefly waltz. Zella quietly intoned the requiem, as was her role in this passing of a mate and, in the next instant, flames flared brightly and the wood, stacked neatly in the sacred pattern of the cremation pyre, caught and quickly spread to envelop the tightly wrapped form of Zarn.

Zed stood back, placing the torch in the waiting holder. He turned to face west, and saw a flare, an after-image of coruscating green, where a shard of light from the setting sun reflected back from the clouds. He knew this was a sign of their mate’s soul reaching the Place of the Gods, and he felt a deep happiness that Zarn would be there, waiting patiently for them to join him, when their turn came.

Zella finished intoning the requiem, and then joined Zed. She stared at him for a second, and bowed.

‘You did well, Zed.’

Her thoughts came clearly to him, and Zed felt relief that she approved of his actions.

He bowed in return, feeling that deep, mutual sadness at their loss.

‘Your actions will speak well of you when Zarn reaches The Place of the Gods,’ Zella continued. ‘He will tell the Gods of our faith in them. It will mean much when it is our turn to journey there.’

‘I only did what I should to make his passing as quick, and painless, as possible.’ Zed responded. ‘It was as I should do for a mate, just as tradition demanded of me at this time of death-dealing.’

Zed remembered how he had used his paddle claw to quickly chop at the exposed section of Zarn’s neck, where the chitin was segmented for ease of movement. He had made sure that it was done at exactly the right moment, so that Zarn would know nothing of it. As he remembered, he felt the soft touch in his mind that indicated Zella’s sharing of his memory, and he was content. This death-dealing, when a mate became too crippled to continue in a traditional role, was the only way that made any sense to them, and they knew they had done as they should.

Now Zarn should be almost in the presence of the Gods, transfigured at his death back to the vigorous being he had once been; this, so he could serve the Gods in whichever capacity they chose. This comforted the two remaining mates. They knew the time might soon come when it was their turn to join him, especially with the present war against the strange, bipedal race, that were trying to take over their planet; a race that seemed to have a never-ending supply of soldiers to keep on fighting.

Zed found it hard to imagine that anything could be so aggressive as to annihilate his people, just to have the land that they lived on - a mistake they had quickly realised, and tried to rectify. But this bipedal race seemed determined to capture his planet, and kill every living triad it could find – even the young brood that were totally defenceless against this aggression! Zed was only grateful that there had been a break in the fighting, so that they could arrange for the correct death-dealing for Zarn.

They had fought hard, struggling to keep their sector free of the bipeds, but not having much success against the strange machines that the bipeds carried, which gave out great surges of light, that burnt to a cinder any organic matter that it touched. It had been one of these machines that had crippled Zarn. They knew that the struggle was nearly over, and they had both known it was the right time to do what was necessary to ease Zarn on his way.

As they watched, the pyre slowly burnt down, until only ashes remained. Zed and Zella waited patiently and, as soon as the ashes were cool enough to handle, gathered them into the beautifully carved wooden box waiting nearby in its special niche. With solemn steps, and respectful silence, they made their way along from the headlands, scrambling deftly down the steep cliff, until they reached the promontory that led out for a distance into the sea.

When they reached the furthest point, where there was nothing else but the water almost entirely circling them, they continued their task with all the solemnity it deserved.

‘Zed, would you start the scattering?’

Zella’s question came quietly, and Zed turned to her in some surprise, knowing that their tradition dictate that she start the ceremony.

‘Are you sure, Zella? Wouldn’t you prefer to do as is usual?’

‘I’m sure, Zed. This honour should be yours. After all, you were the one to ease Zarn’s passing.’

Zed responded with a bow to her, and took the first claw-full of ash from the box, scattering it into the sea. Zella took the next and, with each dispersal of ash, intoned the many deeds of Zarn, making sure his war deeds were recounted, so that the Gods would know how brave a servant they were getting. They sang the songs created for him, after his bravery in rescuing a young brood of larvae that had been attacked by a rogue trio of Larns, two seasons ago. It was an injury caused by this rescue that had slowed Zarn down, and so enabled the bipeds to catch him with their light beams the previous day.

Just as the last claw-full of ash was spread, they looked eastwards, and saw the sun beginning to rise once more. They had timed it perfectly. They looked at each other in the quickly growing light of the hot, white sun, and the nictating membranes that served to protect their eyes in this bright-lit world automatically slid down. With a last look out over the sea, they turned, their segmented bodies almost forming a circle as they did, then they stepped back along the promontory and upwards, using their powerful back legs to push up the steep cliff, and back to the headlands again.

Zella carried the emptied box in her central arms, using the front set to clamber over the rim of the cliff. She stood for a moment, staring back to the place where the ashes were now just part of the heaving green of the ocean, and then she turned once more, and walked back to the site of the pyre. With a dignity that Zed quietly admired, she set the box back in its place, ready for the next cremation. As one, they stepped back from the area, heads bowed, the rapid nictating of their eye screens showing the correct form of sorrow.

Quietly, they turned, and began to walk along the path that led away from the site. The light was swiftly becoming almost unbearable, with the eye movements necessary until they made their way to the living-cave. Without the warmth and humour of their mate, it would now seem a darker, and more solemn, place to be. But they arrived at last, grateful for the dim coolness it afforded them. They immediately started clearing out everything that had belonged to Zarn, carefully placing all of Zarn’s body trinkets outside the entrance to the cave, displaying them on a large, flat rock, so that all could see what was there. This was now the time that any passing Larn could look at what was offered and, if they liked a certain piece, could take it. None of these could be kept by his mates, as it might create a link that would draw him back away from the Gods, so close was their partnership. Zed and Zella watched from the mouth of the cave as his possessions were slowly but surely claimed by those living around them.

Night was once again nearing by the time the last object was taken from the stone, and Zed breathed a sigh of relief that everything had found acceptance with their neighbours. It would have been ill luck to have anything left behind. They retreated back into the cave, slowly cleaning any last vestige of Zarn’s occupancy, both still silent, as tradition demanded. With so little energy left, neither of them felt much like eating, but they did so quickly, knowing what was to come. They then settled into their respective nests, grabbing sleep while they had the chance.

Bright morning light flooded the mouth of the cave, and they woke with a sense of dread, knowing that the war against the bipeds was imminent once more.

‘Can you smell it?’

Zella’s though came slowly into Zed’s mind, and he turned to her, rubbing his mandibles against hers, in a reassuring manner.

‘Yes, but they are still far enough away that we can do what we must.’

Zed tried to keep his thought-tones light, despite his own doubts. A smell on the breeze came clearly into their cave; a sharp, actinic smell, which the biped’s light burners exuded. Zed knew that they were nearing the cave complex and Zella, realising just how near, quickly started to prepare their defences. She rapidly ate the store of fat-rich Klettl they had put aside for this very purpose and, within moments, she felt the spinning bulb beneath her abdomen start to swell. With no time to spare, she immediately went to the cave opening, turned around and, with a careful side-to-side movement, started to exude a fine spray of liquid from the bulb.

As it hit the air, the liquid started to solidify then, as it touched the ground and sides of the cave mouth, it formed a fine, breathable, mesh. Zella angled her body so that she covered all of the entrance, and then started once again from the base, until a thick, rigid wall had formed, creating a barrier as strong as the stone around them. As soon as she completed it, Zed came forward, and began to regurgitate a liquid from his second stomach, which he spread into the mesh using his paddle claw. Once covered, the liquid dried into an almost diamond-hard consistency and, having left a small section above uncoated for air-flow, they felt satisfaction in knowing that the entrance looked like part of the natural stone surroundings. Now it was time to wait.

Waiting was all that Zed and Zella could do, and they knew that their neighbours would be doing as they were. They didn’t question the instructions their leaders had given them two nights previously, but they did wonder why they had been told to prepare for metamorphosis at this time. Zed suspected that this was the only way they could ensure the survival of their species, and that, by hiding away in their chrysalis forms, and adjusting the chemical balance to slow down the process of change, their race might, just, survive this initial invasion, and be able to continue their eons-old cycle further along in time.

So Zed and Zella did as instructed, knowing they were doing as tradition dictated and, as soon as the entrance was hardened, they attached themselves to the extrusions on the ceiling that had been prepared when they first came to the cave.

‘Until awakening!’

Zed sent this anticipating thought to Zella, hoping it would raise her spirits at what they feared was ahead of them. Zella looked over at Zed, almost amused at the unusual sight of her mate hanging upside down.

‘Yes, I look forward to that day!’

With that thought, they immediately began to spin the threads necessary to form the chrysalis that would protect them through their long change.

Soon there was silence in the cave, with only a few intermittent movements of the chrysalides hanging from the ceiling to disturb the cool darkness.

Then all was still.

Still waiting . . .

2010-07-28T17:03:00.000+01:00

I've had a lot of health problems this last few weeks, especially since I sent off my ECA, and it put out of my mind the anxiety of waiting for the results. But the time is getting closer now, and it'll only be 9 days now before the results are published - and I'm getting ever more nervous to see whether or not that I've passed.
I guess, to be strictly honest, I don't think that I have failed the course - but I do worry what sort of mark I will get for my very first Level 3 course, especially as I don't feel I did my story the justice it deserved. But I guess I'll have to be patient, and face the day when it comes :)

On a brighter side, I've another course to look forward to, and I'm very much looking forward to starting EA300 - Children's Literature - in October!
I'm thoroughly enjoying reading all the books for it, with some of them totally new for me - books that I wouldn't have thought to pick up to read - and I've been pleasantly surprised at the power of them, so am really looking forward to getting more insights into their creation :)

Another great piece of news for me - my husband has enrolled in a starter course, to see how he gets on :)
He's 'going over to the dark side', as we Arts and Humanities students call it {grin}, and he has enrolled in the November start of Y157 - Understanding Society and, if he enjoys it, and can get into study mode, he's planning on doing Y163 - Starting with psychology.
I'm not sure how he'll get on with studying, as he's always been a doer more than a reader, but he's an intelligent man, so I'm hoping that the learning bug hits him as hard as it did me {grin} He is very interested in sociology and psychology, so I'm hoping these starter courses will whet his appetite to learn more :)

To be honest with you, on looking through the prospectus, I wouldn't mind doing a few of the courses myself, once I've got my degree (if I get my degree!) - it would certainly keep me in study mode, and stretch my horizons! Lol

And the wait goes on . . .

2010-06-10T13:16:00.000+01:00

It's only been a couple of weeks since I sent off my ECA, with an August deadline for my results, and I'm already impatient to start my new course {g}

I must admit that I'm always happier with a structured way of life, which is something I get when following a course. I like to know exactly where I am in my chosen job of work, so-to-speak, and I'm missing this with no deadlines to meet :(

I admit to trying out a schedule of my own, but I can never kid myself that the world will stop if I don't get 'X or Y' done, and so things fall by the wayside as I get distracted, with the countless things that come along as I try to write my daily 'bit'.

I confess to feeling ever so slightly nervous at the thought of a completed degree, and I'm not sure what I'll be doing to replace my constant studying once I achieve it. I'm hoping that I'll be able to afford to at least do a 10-pointer each year, so that I don't lose the impetus of studying.
There are a lot of science starters I'd like to try, especially as science subjects are well out of my comfort zone, so I'll need to be on the ball to keep up with them :)

Another thing happening at the beginning of August, is the results of a short-story competition I entered a few months back. I had written my first-ever science fiction story, and it was the right length for entering, and so I did so.
I don't know how it will go, but I do hope it's at least enjoyed, as I had a favourable feedback for it during my A363 course, which is what I had written it for.

I've been reading science fiction since I turned 10, when I came across my very first Isaac Asimov book, and couldn't put it down :) I've progressed to reading a mix of Sci-fi and fantasy stuff now, but will never foget the thrill of my first book, I, Robot, still one of my favourites today :)

On that note, I guess I'd better get back to my daily dose of writing nonsense - and waiting for my course results . . .

}:{

Better late than never . . .

2010-05-26T16:11:00.000+01:00

Oh dear, I really have neglected my blog this last few months, haven't I? :(

I've no excuse really, except that I've been battling ill-health, along with a very full schedule of study. :)
I managed to get respectable marks for my TMA's - all within the high 70's and low-to-mid 80's, and I sent off my 3 printed copies of my ECA, in plenty of time for marking.
So now it's just a nail-biting wait to see if I've managed to get my usual Grade 2 Pass for this course, as I have done for all the rest {g}

I've already booked, and paid for, my next course: EA300: Children's Literature, which starts at the beginning of October, and have all the books for the course, bar Tom's Midnight Garden, which I'll be getting over the next week or so. I'll then have lot's of reading to keep me occupied over the summer break ;~)

I chose the Children's Lit course, as I'd already got some of the books, and wanted to have an opportunity to delve deeper into them, which I'll have with this course. I've already gone through them once, and look forward to discussing them with my fellow students when the course forum opens for us :)

This next course is my penultimate one before I, hopefully, get my BA (Hon) in Humanities and Literature - I would have loved it if there was one for Creative Writing and Literature, as this is mainly what I've done so far, but there's no named BA's for this - as yet!

As for my health, it's been a bad time for me, and I'm now having to use crutches to walk about, as my stick wasn't giving me enough support for walking any distance - not that I've actually been able to use them as much as I'd like, as the pain and fatigue brought on by a mix of Arthritus, Fibromyalgia, and Lymphodaema, have made me too tired to do much more than keep up with my studies - but nil desperandum, as they say - I'm sure my health will have better periods, eventually! :(

In the meantime, I'll be starting to write a more fuller version of my short story, written for my A363 ECA - that should keep me out of trouble for the next year or so! {g}

The Waiting Gets Tough . . .

2010-01-11T22:59:00.000Z

Ooh, I've really been slack with my blog, haven't I? :)

To be fair, with the Christmas period coming, and a visit from my daughter, before she went on to work in Peru, I've not had much of a chance to come on here (excuses, excuses. Lol).

Anyhoo, I finished writing my script, managed to write a half-legible commentary for it, fine-tuned my references, and sent it off a day earlier than the cut-off date. So now I wait, with a touch of anxiety, to hear what sort of mark I'll be getting for it. :/
The wait's bound to be for a couple of weeks, as our tutor is also doing another course, and I shan't expect a miracle as she, too, needs to catch up after the winter break.

In the meantime, I should be getting on with the next section of the course book, in readiness for TMA 03 - but I find myself dithering and digressing constantly.

I guess this is because I'm really not keen on doing the next TMA - we have to find some work by a fellow student in our tutorial group, posted from any part of the course, and critique it. The work has to have had some comment on it by our tutorial group, then the results of that commentary, whether a re-working, or a denial of that need by the author of it, and then our reaction to that re-working etc.

Unfortunately, there is very little that actually fits the bill as, like all the other tutorial groups for this course, very few people have actually posted follow-ons from their work. I did so, but I'm not allowed to comment on my own work.
There are a couple of students who also co-operated, so I'll have to choose one, or both of them, to critique.
This, then, brings me to another point - I haven't done any serious critiquing for a couple of years, so am extremely rusty at it, which then also brings on worries as to the problem of, 'will my work be good enough for at least a pass?'
Oh, the worries and frustrations of the mature student! {g}

I've decided to clear my head a bit by doing a bit of free-writing, and seeing what comes of it. Hopefully, this will settle me back down, and then I can continue on with the course-work as I should be doing.

Here's hoping, anyway! Lol

Nearing the cut-off date!

2009-12-23T04:34:00.000Z

I've been so busy with my course work, and other studies, this last few weeks, there haven't been enough hours in the day to come on to my blog, let alone write anything in it! :)

I've been unable to sleep tonight, so I thought I'd come along here, and catch you up with what's happening with my studies - obviously quite a lot, of course! Lol

I've been nose-to-the-grindstone with this next TMA work, busily writing the script of my TMA 01 story, and editing, editing, editing!
I've been amazed at how much my story has had to change, so that I can transcribe it into a radio script, and having to change a very visual prose into an oral peice has been very difficult at times. I managed to do it, though, after a lot of blood, sweat and tears. Lol

The blood, by the way, was where I cut my finger on some paper - don't laugh, that really hurts, you know! {g}
The sweat was caused by wrestling with my story, and trying to keep the core of it as true as I could, while changing so much at the same time. :(
The tears were when I couldn't see a way forward - luckily I managed in the end!

So I'm now at the point where I've got a - rough - draft of my TMA 02, and I've even managed some commentary and references as well! Lol

Now all I have to do, is get a willing ear (my daughter is visiting, so guess who I've selected. Lol), and I'll read it all, timing as I go, to make sure I've written the fifteen minutes of radio script I've been asked to do.
I just hope, and pray, that I've witten enough because, if I have to find any more, I feel my creativity will be sadly lacking at this stage :/

Anyhoo, I've got until the 8th January to fine-tune this minor miracle, and then all I can do is keep everything crossed that I've done enough, and well enough, to pass this next TMA! :)

2009-12-05T18:45:00.000Z

Oh dear! I didn't realise just how much I was neglecting my blog recently!

In my defence, I've been up to my eyes in learning about scriptwriting, plus still haven't got over the utter exhaustion left over from the swine flu thing!

But, first of all, I must tell you - I got a whopping 80% for my TMA!
I was utterly gobsmacked by it, and would have jumped about madly, if I'd physically been able to {g}
Considering that I wrote it while delirious with swine flu, I was expecting a bare pass, if possible, so to get this sort of result is utterly brilliant!! Maybe I should get ill for every TMA? Lol

Secondly. I'm really, really enjoying the scriptwriting!
I was quite daunted by the whole thing when I first looked at the course book, but I seem to have taken to it like a duck to water, and am loving the activities we're asked to do in practice of it all.
I've actually been writing scripts that have nothing officially to do with the activities - just for the sheer joy of writing them - am I sad, or what? Lol

I've always loved writing, but I've found an extra germ of creativity with the scriptwriting - maybe it's just that this is such a new form for me, but I'm truly excited at what I'm learning - and hope this keeps on for the rest of the course!

Hope you all have as much enjoyment in whatever you choose to do, creatively!

Hello from the stranger!

2009-11-05T22:21:00.000Z

I blush with embarrassment as to how long it's been since I last posted!

My only excuse, is that I have, firstly, been too busy getting into the start of my course and, secondly, am just getting over a strain of the swine flu currently swathing itself through the rank and file of my family and friends :(

Apart from the health aspects, which have affected already ongoing health problems, I also had to deal with writing my first TMA of the course, which came at least two weeks earlier from the start of the course than any first TMA I've ever done. So there was a very short period of learning between the beginning of the course, and having to write it. But I managed it - which is a minor miracle in itself, believe me! :)

I'll know exactly how well I did within a few weeks, so I'm going to be very anxious about my results until then! I just hope my illness didn't affect my creative ability too much. I know the first TMA isn't as important as later ones, but it's still worth 15% of the overall course marks, so I'll just have to hope I did okay.:/

As for the course so far - well I've enjoyed the first two weeks enormously, as I was dealing with things familiar to me from my level 2 Creative Writing course. Unfortunately the third week is a blur, as that's when I was going through the worst of the flu symptoms - I'll have to go over that part of the course again once I've got a bit of time spare - and the week we are given to prepare and write our TMA was a mad rush of trying to get better, and writing what I hope will be at least a creditable attempt at a story!

What I am looking forward to - with a heavy dose of trepidation - is the next section, as this is where I learn, and attempt to write for myself, about script writing. I'm going to be learning how to change the story I've written for my first TMA into a script on this second part, and I beleive it's now we have to decide which type of script we're going to be pursuing throughout the course. With the story I've written, it's very probable that I'll be changing it into either a script for film or TV - I won't know really, until I learn more about the subject. But I'm looking forward to learning about it anyway!

I'll let you know how I got on when I get my TMA results - and I'll also be letting you know how the learning about script-writing comes along! :)

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Due to start on the 10th . . .

2009-10-08T12:09:00.000+01:00

Well, everyone who wants to has introduced themselves in my tutorial group. There are a few familiar names from my previous course, which is great, and everyone else seems to be freindly, and willing to share who they are. :)

Our tutor seems very nice, and has already set us a few Ice-breakers, so that we can get to know each other and, presumably, she will have a sense of what we are capable of before the course starts.

I've just sent off my dummy TMA, so now it really feels as if I am actually starting! Lol

I've actually done the first week's activities - more to break myself back into study-mode really - but I don't want to get any more ahead of myself, and have stopped there until the course catches up with me, so-to-speak. Lol.

Just from the short Ice-breaker exercises, I can see that most of the group are going to be excellent writers, so I'm feeling a bit nervous that I'll be able to keep up with them, or even be in the same league as them, come to that! I guess I'll have to look on it as a spur to excell myself . . .

It's actually my 26th wedding anniversary today, although we're not celebrating it as such until saturday - which happens to be the start of the course! Yet another reason I'm glad I've got slightly ahead of myself. {g}
Mind you, I think that is one of the best advantages of this distance learning - if I need to, I can catch up with what's being posted at any time convenient to myself, so at least we can celebrate on saturday without me feeling guilty of neglecting the course! :)

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Promises, promises . . .

2009-09-19T01:57:00.002+01:00

I had promised myself that I would start on the Big Blue Book (BBB), the course book for A363, which arrived last week but, as in all plans of mice and men, there seems to have been one thing after another stopping me this week!

Between illness and unexpected trips and visitors, I feel as if I've barely had a moment to think, let alone look in any depth at the book, but I'm determined to do better next week, as I feel I need to make a head start, just in case ill health puts me behind with the course which, if this last few weeks is an example, will probably happen.

I've managed a brief look-through and, from the small amount read, I really feel I'm going to enjoy this course, even if it is a giant step up from my usual studies so far. To prepare ahead of myself a little, I've already started an embryonic support group of friends and fellow-students who will be doing the same course, albeit in different tutor groups, and I think this will be of great help to all of us, especially as we're all feeling a little apprehensive over learning about script-writing for the first time.

But, whatever faces us once the course starts, I'm sure we'll be able to cope with anything thrown at us, with the support of each other!

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A Big Disappointment . . .

2009-09-12T01:40:00.003+01:00

I guess you could call the following a warning - to any publishing virgins out there, be very careful how you go about having your work published . . .

When the postman knocked on my door this morning, and handed me a large envelope, I was fairly sure it contained the copies of the poetry anthology that my poem had been published in, so it was with great excitement that I opened it - to discover that's exactly what it held!

In a matter of moments, I'd looked through the index to find which page it was on, and then hurried to look at my pride and joy.

It was with horror, that I saw what was supposed to be my poem, and I sat there open-mouthed with shock at what I was reading. I could have cried, and couldn't believe that this had been done. I was on the phone within minutes to the publisher, to see what had happened.

Now, to explain all of this, I need to go back to when my final proof copy was sent to me. I had read, then, with horror, the hash that had been made of my poem, and had immediately tried to correct things before sending it back but, with very little space to do so, I found it impossible, as there were just too many things wrong for me to do it in the small space provided.
And so I decided that the only thing I could do, was to re-write the whole thing - the proof copy, and my poem, which I then did so.

I sent it all off assuming, in my printing innocence, that the proof reader would check this final proof against the one they had sent me.

And now, to my despair I saw that they, in fact, hadn't!

After speaking to a nice young lad at the main office, I was given the choice to send the copies back but, as I told him, it didn't stop the hundreds of copies already out there - and with my name attached!

I had resigned myself to returning the copies, powerless to change it all, and to the embarrassment of having this . . . thing with my name attached to it - and then, an hour or so later, I had a phone call from the managing director of the firm, who informed me that it was all my fault, as I hadn't sent a letter with the corrected copy telling of my changes - something that hadn't even occured to me was needed.

I acknowledged that I hadn't done this, as I had assumed that both the original copy they had sent me, and the final proof, would be checked against each other and, on saying this, was swiftly disabused of the idea, and told in no uncertain terms that they didn't do this, and it was all my fault, especially as I had sent a copy of the final proof, and not the original proof they had sent me which, as I told him, would have been impossisble after trying to fit every change in, and making an unreadable mess of it in the trying.

And so the conversation ended with an abrupt, 'Do you want to send the books back or not?', to which I replied a resounding 'Yes!' and then had the phone slammed down on me!

I sit here, totally baffled as to how a publishing firm doesn't even check it's final proofs against the originals. I acknowledge that my ignorance in how things are done contributed to this farce, but I'm also bl**dy angry at the way in which they dealt with both the issue, and with myself in my upset.

I will definitely not be using this firm again, and will be very wary as to how things are dealt with, if I ever have the chance of anything of mine being published again - not that I see it happening, especially with that abomination out there with my name on it!

I figured that I might as well show everyone the two different versions of my poem (which is a Villanelle, by the way). The one I had been proud to call my own, and the version it turned into - I leave it to you, the reader, to decide which one is best . . .

My Final Proof:

On The Trapeze

I fly up here, above the roaring crowd,
my thoughts so hard upon my high-strung deeds -
soaring; my heart lifts with my utter glee.

I never thought that I would be allowed
to do the one thing I would always need,
I fly up here, above the roaring crowd.

I paused aloft and then, with grace, I bowed
to crowds who came, and let me take the lead -
soaring; my heart lifts with my utter glee.

At first it was so high that I felt cowed,
as though I were a lost and floating reed -
I fly up here, above the roaring crowd.

I loved it so much, that I nearly howled,
and those who tried to stop me had to cede.
Soaring; my heart lifts with my utter glee.

So now I spend my life as I had vowed -
above the people, who I have to heed,
I fly up here, above the roaring crowd -
soaring; my heart lifts with my utter glee.

And their version:

On The Trapeze
I fly up here, above the roaring crowd,
my thoughts so high on my high-strung deeds -
My heart never lifts with my utter glee.
I never thought that I could be allowed,
to do something that I would always need -
I fly up here, above the roaring crowd.
I soar above, and then with grace I bow
To crowds who watch, as I take the lead -
My heart lifts with utter glee.
At first it was so high, that I felt cowed,
as though I were a lost, floating reed -
I fly up here above the roaring crowd.
I love it so much, and I am so proud
Of soaring on my high-flying steeds,
My heart lifts with utter glee.
And now I spend my life as I had vowed -
above the people who I must heed,
I fly up here above the roaring crowd -
my heart lifts with my utter glee.

.

It's getting nearer . . .

2009-09-06T01:29:00.003+01:00

Just a few days after the spiral-bound version of my course book arrived, another parcel was delivered with the usual copy of the book, so I now have 2 - one I can underline, write notes in, and generally make a mess of, if needs be, and the other I can keep as clean as I would wish. I find this really helpful, as I really hate to deface a book in any way, so I can make use of the spiral-bound copy as a true work-horse while appeasing my conscience that the 'true' copy stays pristine.

I don't know where this need to keep a book as perfect as possible began. It may have been when I was very young as, with a large household, and not much money, my mother treated our possessions as treasures hard to replace. Whatever did it, I find it desperately hard to mar a book, unless it's made expressly for that, of course! :)

It's becoming a lot more real to me now, that the course will be starting in less than a month, and I am desperately trying to get myself well enough to be able to concentrate on the work involved. It will help that I've already got a small support group together - fellow students that have been with me on other courses, and who are doing this one with me as well. We may live in separate parts of the country but, thanks to the Internet, we are barely a second apart, figuratively. I've been involved with groups like this on my other courses, and it helps tremendously to be able to show others my work, and for them to show me theirs, so we can comment, and suggest anything that may need changing. The fact that we're in different tutorials helps as well, as different tutors give a different view on the work we do, so there's always some new way of looking at things! :)

I've not done as much writing as I would like this break - I've been concentrating more on the refining of work already done - practicing all I learnt on my last course and, although there's a different slant going on with the new course, I'm hoping the revising will help with the new things I'll be learning. I am so looking forward to learning how to write scripts! This is something that interested me when at school but, unfortunately, life got in the way of me pursuing it, so this is a chance for me I never thought I'd have again.

I've also sent another poem off. I'm getting used to waiting for a response to them, and any critique is always useful! Lol

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And it's getting nearer . . .

2009-08-29T02:46:00.002+01:00

There was a knock at the door just before lunch today and, when I answered it, I found a deliveryman at the door. He handed me a parcel from the O.U., and I immediately brought it into my office to open.

Inside, there was a spiral-bound copy of my new A363 course book!

I've given it a brief look through so far, and I am impressed with the quality of the work. I will be very happy to be starting this course soon, and am determined to give the book a quick read-through before the course start date. I could see already that there were words and phrases being used that I'm not very familiar with, so this is the ideal opportunity to go through it, taking note of things I need to look up, and then I'm sure the course work will go a lot more smoothly for me!

It looks like I need to resupply myself with various coloured stick-it notes, and some more notepads to use as a writer's journal, especially as I'm almost out of it all now!

I am really looking forward to October!

In the meantime, I've just sent off another poem for a United Press competition - this one being the Local Poem Competition 2010. I've written a poem called Mouth of the Aeron, about the town just a mile or so away from my village, so I just hope the judges like it!

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I've heard back from the sci-fi mag . . .

2009-08-22T01:07:00.002+01:00

I received an email from Neo-opsis, the magazine I had sent my first grown-up sci-fi story to and, as I had mostly expected, they didn't want it.

The reasons, to my relief, weren't that it was absolutely awful but, as the very kind editor explained, she:

'got the feeling that the story wasn't over, that And There is a Right Way was only a small part of a much larger story, and [she] felt somewhat cheated with the way the story ended. Other publishers may not feel the same way. They will love the story just as it is written.'

So, along with the disappointment, there was also much encouragement to persevere with this!

What I'm going to have to do, is decide whether to contact the list of publishers she, very kindly, gave me, or whether to work more at the story, and maybe develop it more fully than it is, especially after she indicated that it felt only part of a larger whole . . .

I guess this is something I should sleep on, and decide after I see if I'm capable of developing it further.

I see that tommorrow will find me looking at the various publishers I was given, to see if my work is suitable 'as is' and, if not, a thorough examination of my work so far seems the next step.

Ah well, I never expected the life of a writer to be easy so, 'on, on,' as they say! Lol
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Well, it's definitely a start, anyway . . . Lol

2009-08-15T01:21:00.003+01:00

I got an envelope from the O.U. in the post yesterday, and I was quite excited opening it up, as I hoped it would tell me something about my new course.
It actually contained all the transcripts I'm going to need for the CD's and the DVD that will be part of my new A363 course.

I receive these, as my hearing isn't brilliant, so I can't hear the CD's as clearly as I need to, and I'm more grateful to the O.U. than I can say for this facility. It actually means that I can really go over what is said, and pinpoint words or phrases that have a significance for me during my course work, and it makes life so very much more easy for me.

It's this sort of thing that makes studying with the O.U. so very good for me, and for many more students with problems both physically or otherwise. The Disabled Students Association does a lot of work behind the scenes, organising things for every disabled student that asks for their help and, although there can be a few problems with communication, and the occasional hickup where applying for this help is concerned, on the whole it does a sterling job for us, the students.

I know for a fact that there would be no way I could have continued on doing my courses towards a degree, if they hadn't provided things for me that help me with my study, like the laptop I'm currently writing on, or the software called 'Dragon' that enables me to write my essays when my hands are too painful to type, and it's this sort of thing that the O.U. are renowned for, and that make such a difference between success and failure for me. They truly do try to make the playing field as level as they can for us students with problems, giving the restrictions of finance, and they should be proud of the advances they have made towards helping to make as many disabled students as possible to have access to higher learning.

I have just completed the third of six courses necessary for my degree, and I wouldn't have got this far without the practical help they offered, and it means I can continue on towards the next goal - my very first Level 3 course - with the confidence of knowing that I am supported whenever I need it!

.

The results are in!

2009-08-07T01:52:00.002+01:00

I went online this morning, and got an email from a fellow student and friend, telling me that she had her results.
As soon as I read this, I immediately signed on to the O.U. site and looked for my results.

I was over the moon when I found I had a Grade 2 pass! I got an overall score of 82 - just 3 points short of a distinction! Lol

This has really made me even more determined to continue on with the Advanced Creative Writing course now. I know it won't be the same as this previously taken course, but I am looking forward to learning about the mysteries of scriptwriting, 'though I have to confess to being a bit more nervous, since I heard that one of the students who did the course with me has decided that she'd rather not continue with the advanced course.
I'm just hoping that I find some like-minded friends among the many students who have signed on to do A363!

.

40th Anniversary of the Open University

2009-08-02T02:16:00.002+01:00

I was looking on the BBCi Player for something to watch, and I came across a programme celebrating the 40th anniversary of the Open University.

Lenny Henry was fronting it as he had been a student at the O.U., and I found it fascinating how the whole conception of a University education for all had been envisioned and made possible all those years ago, when I was just a child of 7 - there, that tells you my age, doesn't it? {grin}

I remember all those late night-early morning programmes, normally on some obscure, to me, scientific topic, that I ended up watching when my daughter was a baby, and teething, or ill and, although I didn't understand a lot of it, it still fascinated me. Then, later on, as TV became a lot more sophisticated, how I enjoyed the many programmes made in conjunction with the BBC, especially all the earth sciences ones. They brought a taste of the world into my back-of-the-beyond home, which started up that thirst for learning once more, although I chose Literature and Humanities, rather than Science.

This programme has also made me think of how easily it might have been stopped at a few points in it's early years - and I wondered just how many people's lives would have been so different if it hadn't been continued. I will be forever thankful for all those early pioneers, both in government, and the course writers and tutors, for all their work that ensured that the O.U. became a leader in home learning.

It makes me shudder a little, to think of how easily I might not have been able to continue my education. An education that had been halted due to financial necessity, as I was needed to bring home a wage packet at the time I wanted to go on with my learning. It amazes me that I hadn't really heard of the O.U. at that time, at least, I wasn't aware that it might be an option for me, otherwise I would definitely have become a student then. I guess the people responsible for advising me of my options, as conservative as they were, didn't think it necessary to mention this wonderful choice - I guess I'll never know why. But I am eternally grateful, to my daughter initially, and then my husband, for encouraging me to "go for it," as my daughter said!

Because of all those dedicated people, 40 years ago, I am now half-way through my degree and, even now, I'm desperately trying to think of ways that I can finance going for an MA once my BA is under my belt!

That's the problem with this O.U. lark - it's so impossibly addictive! {grin}

I've got a date for publishing!

2009-07-28T01:21:00.006+01:00

At last!

I received an email this morning, from the publisher of the anthology, 'Poetry By Moonlight', telling me that it will be released in September. I can't wait to receive my copy, and read my poem On The Trapeze.

Obviously, I can read the poem any time I choose, but to see it in a professionally bound anthology is going to be brilliant! Lol

Not only that, but the other poem of mine to be published, St David Was Born Here, is to be published in November, in the anthology, 'A Guiding Light'.

All it needs now, is for me to hear from the magazine publishers I sent my very first sci-fi story out to, to see if they have accepted it!

A girl can dream, can't she? {g}

In the email, United Press were telling me that they've got another poetry competition going:

There's a £100 first prize in the open competition, Fact and Fantasy. You can enter by post or email and make sure you put “Fact and Fantasy” at the top of your entry. Your poem can be on any subject you like but must be no more than 160 words or 20 lines, and you can't use “Fact and Fantasy” as the title. Send your entries now because this competition closes in September.

Also, there's a £1000 prize to the winner of their annual Local Poem competition. You must put “Local Poem” at the top of your entry and the theme must be someone or something local. For example, last year's winner was a poem about two cooling towers. The previous year's winner was a poem about a river, and three years ago, the winner was about village life.

You could write a poem about a famous person or even a member of your family, living or dead. You could write a poem about your local bus driver or your greengrocer. The same length limitations apply to this competition.

Here's the link to their website with all the rules and regs, etc:

http://www.unitedpress.co.uk/competitions/

Best of luck to everyone that puts something into it! Lol.

P.S. Only 10 more days before I find out my ECA results!

And another poem is being published!

2009-07-18T01:00:00.002+01:00

I opened my post yesterday, and one of the letters I had informed me that, although I hadn't won 1st prize in the poetry contest I'd entered, they did wish to publish my poem, St David Was Born Here, in a new anthology called 'A Guiding Light'.
I am well pleased about this, as the more work I have out there, the better chance I have of being seen one day, maybe!
We can all dream I suppose . . .
There's no money in it, but I don't care much at the moment - it's just lovely that I was considered good enough to publish, especially as this was a national competition, so there must have been tons of entries! I also get to keep the copyright of my poem, which I'm pleased about as, one day, I'd love to be able to gather all my poems together in an anthology solely for my own work - now that is a goal to aim for!

On the sci-fi story front - still no news. But I keep the axiom that no news is good news firmly in mind, and I'm hoping that the longer it takes, the more chance there is that my story will be accepted . . .

Only another 20 days to go before we get our ECA results! I'm really starting to get nervous with all the waiting. Mind you, all the other students I've spoken to are in exactly the same boat, and we all think it a kind of torture, to have to wait so long after submission for the results - and, yes, we all understand the sheer volume of stuff that needed to be marked, and marked fairly to boot - but it doesn't stop the knee-jerk reaction we all seem to have that we'll fail miserably for one reason or another. I don't suppose there's even one student out there who isn't looking at the work they've done, and haven't found something that they think is a glaringly bad mistake! Lol
But, whatever happens, I'm fairly sure the majority of us will pass, some with distinction, no doubt, although I'll never be able to place myself in that category - my poor old memory makes sure of that! Lol

In the meantime, we all wait, and hope, and desperately try to distract ourselves with whatever we can until D-Day arrives.

Whatever your marks out there, well done for completing your course!

.

Soon D-Day will be looming!

2009-07-05T02:37:00.002+01:00

I checked my studenthome today, and there was a notice that the results of my ECA will be available on Friday 7th August . . . I don't know whether to be excited or nervous with the wait right now, but I think the next 33 days are going to drag more than the last ones did!

It's a strange old time I'm living through at the moment - I've finished A215, but am nowhere near to starting A363 as yet. It's like being in Limbo, really, with the same feeling of time slowing down to a dragging pace. It doesn't help that I'm feeling so poorly at the moment, with all the rain and damp. I really want to be doing things at the moment but, as usual, my poor old body is letting me down.

One thing I am doing, is reading the book list for EA300: Children's literature. I know I won't be doing it until October 2010 but, as I had some of the books already, I decided to gradually gather them all, as I could afford them, and read them through now.
I'm in the middle of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott at the moment, something I read in my junior years and, I must say, I'm thoroughly enjoying the trip back to my younger years, with the emotions I remembered feeling when I first read the book overlaying the more analytical me of today. In fact, I'm enjoying Little Women so much, that I've just ordered the follow-ons from eBay. I never did read any further than Good Wives, so it'll be nice to know what happened next. Lol

It's amazing how my study with the O.U. has changed the way I look at, and read, books now. Even the ones I choose for recreation can't be read without the analysis I was taught to bring to my studies.
But I think it brings a deeper pleasure for me, to understand more the motivations of character and plot, and I love to speculate what brought the author of whatever my current reading may be, to the ideas behind each story - I always did love a mystery, and I have one with every book I pick up nowadays, especially all the so-called 'children's' books I'm now reading!

Anyway, my reading will, hopefully, fill in some of the time I have spare at the moment, until October comes. And I'm determined to read through some of the study ideas that are appropriate for A363, that the O.U. put up for anyone to sample - to wet my appetite for the new course ahead, if nothing else!

I heard from Iota . . .

2009-06-26T23:56:00.002+01:00

but nothing earthshattering, I'm afraid. But they have accepted four of my poems for admittance to their poetry competition. I won't hear whether I've got anywhere until 2010, unfortunately, so I guess I'll have to learn a little patience :/

Still no word about my sci-fi story as yet, but I guess no news is good news - right?

I've been reading quite a few children's books recently. I know it's getting ahead of myself, but I'm planning on doing EA300: Children's Literature, in October, 2010, so I decided that, as I had some of the books already, I might as well gradually get the rest and read them ahead of time.
I received a lovely parcel from Amazon on monday, and it contained two of the books from the list:
Roll Of Thunder, Hear My Cry by M. Taylor - ISBN: 9780140366259
The Other Side of Truth by B. Naidoo - ISBN: 978014130476

With both books, I couldn't put them down from the first sentence to the last, and they both left me wanting more, so I shall be looking out for further books by two very talented writers!

With all the books, I plan on giving them a good read through, and then I'll read them again, marking out passages that I find significant, or moving etc., using post-its, as I'm anally retentive where writing in books is concerned - unless the book is created to be written in, of course! Lol
That way, I'm hoping that they will be reminers for me when I get to do all that studying for real next year and, with my memory nowadays, I'll need it!

Proofreading . . .

2009-06-18T00:56:00.002+01:00

I got the proofs of my poem the other day and, after checking them and correcting some, rather glaring, mistakes, I have sent it back to the publishers.
So now I wait, with baited breath, for my copies of the poetry anthology to be delivered to me, which should be relatively shortly, according to the news on the website.

The anthology is called 'Poetry By Moonlight', and I'm looking forward to reading all the other poems that will be sharing the anthology with me.
My poem is a villanelle, which is quite difficult to write correctly, so I'm pleased as punch that it not only got me good marks for my TMA, but also was accepted for publishing.

I still haven't heard anything about the sci-fi story I wrote for a magazine, but I guess it's early days yet - I really hate waiting, but I guess it's something I'll have to be resigned to, if I want to keep on with the writing . . .

Hey, Ho, and on we go . . .

Keeping Busy

2009-06-07T00:30:00.002+01:00

I've been keeping myself busy this week, and I've sent off some poems to a couple of poetry competitions. It's the only thing I can think of, to encourage myself to keep writing as much as possible while I wait for the next course to start.
I am so sad! A215 isn't even officially over as such, and I'm already missing it, and looking forwards to the start of A363!

At least my letter of confirmation has arrived, so I know my place on the course is guaranteed - well, as much as anything can be nowadays!

It's been a strange week. I've not got out of my study habits as yet, but I also haven't worked out a new timetable for myself either, so I seem to be dragging my heels to do anything much, except when inspiration strikes, of course. :)

I wrote the following poem a few days ago, although I haven't submitted it to anything, so I thought I'd put it on here, to see if anyone has any comments on it:

I Am Born

With a squalling wail,
I came into this world -
a scrap of nothing -
and I lay there,
child of innocence,
in a world of happiness.
But I never saw the look
upon my dying mother’s face.

While all those round me sped
with haste, I had no intimation
that something tragic came
of bringing me to my first breath.
Then quiet filled the room
as I did what came so naturally,
and smiled at her who gave me life,
oblivious to distress.

With nothing to do . . .

2009-05-31T00:25:00.003+01:00

It is feeling really strange, not having a deadline to get something written down.

Towards the end of my course, ill health had dogged me, and it took me everything I had to keep going, and to get that final TMA, and then the ECA, written and sent off. But, now it's all done, I feel quite empty, and am already looking forward to the beginning of A363 in October!
I received my registration papers today for this, have signed them, and will post them forthwith on monday, so at least I know my place is guaranteed now.

To keep myself involved, and as busy as I can be at the moment, I decided to do the rewriting on my 'And There Is A Right Way' story, adding the dialogue that my tutor felt it needed to be complete and, now I've done so, I see exactly what she meant - it brought a good story alive, and I'm so pleased she pointed it out to me.
I finished editing it for any mistakes and tweaks it might need, at silly-O'Clock in the morning, this morning and, rather than pick, pick, pick at it, until it is changed beyond recognition, I bit the bullet, and sent it off as a submission to a magazine that was asking for short stories of a sci-fi/fantasy genre.
Now I do what all prospective writers do, and wait to see if it's acceptable! Lol.

I also received a letter in the post this morning (saturday), asking me to submit my 'On The Trapeze' poem for an anthology. I won't be paid for it, but then, neither do I have to pay, so I decided to go ahead, especially as I keep the copywrite for it and, you never know, someone might read it, and be interested in all the other stuff I've written over the years! (We can all dream, can't we?) Lol
This will be my sixth poem to be published in an anthology, and I guess my ultimate dream, would be to have an anthology all to myself - just me!

And, in the meantime, I shall do as was recommended in the BRB, and just keep on writing every day so that, hopefully, by the time I start my new course, there will be plenty of ideas written in my notebook!

My 05 results are in!

2009-05-23T00:37:00.002+01:00

My results for my TMA 05 came in today, and it was with some trepadation that I went to extract them.

I had written my very first sci-fi story, a bit of a risk, but it was a story that needed telling, as it had been buzzing insistently in my head, ever since I had written the outline for it in activities 11.3 & 11.4.

I extracted my results, and opened them, silently breathing a prayer that it wouldn't have too low a mark then, much to my amazement, I saw that I had received 86% as my mark!

I confess that I double-checked that it was actually my story written there - but there was no mistaking it, and I sat for a second, mouth agape in shock, before letting out a relieved whoop!
My husband came rushing into the room, and once glance at my madly grinning face showed him that it was good news, and he was delighted for me that I'd got such a mark, although I don't think it touched how I felt! Lol

There were a couple of glitches with my story: I had let slip the indents needed for each new paragraph, something I'm amazed I didn't notice in my final check-up. And I hadn't used any dialogue in the story, which my tutor felt made it a little dense in places.

I'll have to work on that for the competition I'm planning on sending the story to, now that I know it was liked by my tutor.

I did have other favourable responses to it from friends and family before I had sent it off, but I had trusted my tutor to give me an unbiased view on it and, as she wished me luck with the competition in her notes to me, I'm taking it that, with that little addition of dialogue, she feels it's professional enough to submit - so hold this space, folks, and I'll let you know in August if I get anywhere with it! Lol

Now that my final TMA is back with me, all I have to wait on is the results of my ECA, which will also let me know on what level I have passed the course entirely.

So now the waiting commences . . .